whitereflection: (sam um... o_o)
I love seeing a fic recced for something like hcbingo at a major rec community, and the fic is entirely hurt and no comfort. I would think if I were reccing it as a feature of something like say, hcbingo, I'd make sure I not only liked the writing, but that it you know, actually *FIT* the h/c theme.  People in this fandom are so stupid about h/c sometimes. They love to hurt, oh how they love to hurt...but then it's like 'okay, I'm done now' after they do the hurting.  Sorry, it's not hbingo or hurtbingo. FFS. I'm not complaining about the hurting being done, or those who write outright torture--to each their own. Just the blatant misunderstanding, mislabeling, and misrepresentation of the trope, and the fact that *SO* many seem to neglect the c in h/c. Anyway, rant off.

Also, I HAVE POST NO-MORE-SHERLOCK-TO-WATCH STRESS DISORDER. D: Asdfasdfkjsdfksdjkjfk WANT MOOOOOORE. I want season 2 NOOOOOOOW. T____T My response to the...ending was thus, as well as the last paragraph and tags here. Fffffffffffffffffffffffff, I want to rewatch it already. And I am reading so much fic that [livejournal.com profile] paxlux is reccing to me. So much fic \o/ (PS. FIC RECS, ANYONE? I already know I need to dig through [livejournal.com profile] mistyzeo 's old fic recs as well as her fics themselves :o ) It is odd that I was never much one for the books, enjoyed the movie but didn't go flailing fangirl over it--but the BBC series? All I can do is capslock and keymash.  Something about modern era and the acting and that chemistry between them and Cumberbatch's voice and the marvelous cinematography and just UNF. 

PS I want the background music for Sherlock, and the open/end credits themes. D: And I WANT HIS COAT SO WHARRGARBL BADLY. Too bad it's no longer being made, and even when it was, cost over $2000. WOE.
whitereflection: (sam um...yeah :|)
Ah, that feeling that hits me when I realize that next month will be my 20th annual high school reunion.

I remember that time when my Dad had his 20th annual high school reunion.

I wish it weren't a raid night, because I sort of feel the need to go drown my sorrows in something.

(No, not planning on going, just don't feel like it, the alumni don't even have my current address and I haven't felt the motivation to update. It's all about showing how you still look good--which I don't--or how successful you are--which I'm not--or to show off your kids--and I don't have any of those. So. A few people I wouldn't mind seeing, but most of them, eh.)
whitereflection: (winchesters blast furnace yelling)
Gotta love waking up and immediately realizing one feels like complete and utter crap. And then it goes downhill from there. Fuck allergies, seriously. Not even truly spring yet, and I want it to go away and be winter again already.
whitereflection: (BALLS.)
I hate that feeling of "Oh hey, got up at 9:30, that's not so bad--OMGWTF DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME WHAT NO DX" Which means I got up at 10:30, which then feels like I slept in too late and ugh. Fucking DST, I hate youuuuuuuuu. That shift of just one hour is gonna make me feel weird for days. :/ Wish I lived somewhere where they didn't change time in fall and spring.

Jeebus. Is there coffee? I need coffee. X(


Feb. 27th, 2011 07:08 pm
whitereflection: (sam doesn't make a difference)
Another episode of How I Suck At Everything. This time, tabletop gaming edition. Can't wait for the next episode, online computer game edition (part eleventy-billion), coming tonight. Yeah, I know, just downhormonemo, but still. Just would like to do things and, preferably, be good at them, or at least just be able to do them and have fun without having to always having it pointed out that I'm fucking up. (And it bothers me when I try to talk about it with someone, and I don't get empathy or sympathy, just get blown off. Thanks.) Sometimes I think, is this the way things really are supposed to be--40 more years of just kind of being a screw-up? I just, seriously, what's the point. It's too bad I have no interest in children, my own or adopted, so I could at least feel like I accomplished something.

Funeral for my uncle is on Tuesday, at practically the exact same time my dentist appointment should have been. So first thing Monday I have to call my dentist and re-reschedule (funny thing how I just rescheduled last week because their office-closed days changed).

Been a fuckin cranky old woman the past couple days. Just...annoyed by stupid crap, and feeling like I am totally missing something by the way I simply don't care about certain things that others fan so hard they're all but in hysterics. I dunno, I guess, I just don't go hysterical about celebrities, and I still just am missing *something* about the one that like the whole fandom is nuts over--and I don't gush over celebrity couples, so when people freaking go insane about them, I just am like "...um, okay?" I dunno. I guess I'm just too old, too cynical and jaded, or something. And I'm a fucking picky bitch, too--saw a fic posted to some comm last night that if I didn't have a brain-to-typing filter, so *so* wanted to comment "Ohmygod, are you 12 or something?" So hi, I am a horrible person and full of unpopular opinions and bad thoughts.
whitereflection: (winchesters unimpressed and kinda offend)

My addition on my tumblr reblog:
…I’m sorry, but this short, fat woman is going to keep using short, fat cans. I may not be beautiful and confident, but I don’t need any goddamned soft drinks equating “tall and thin” with “beautiful and confident” for me. Keep your social conditioning and objectifying out of my fucking beverages, TYVM.

Not that I drink soda often, but when I do, I think it'll be anything but Pepsi products (though wtf do I do about all the Mtn Dew the husband likes? >_< )
whitereflection: (sam um...yeah :|)
The tub drain plug/lever thing's being replaced, about 150$ as I expected. Less expected was the discovery that the pipe leading away from the bathtub drain has become frighteningly corroded this past year, and absolutely requires replacing of said segment, for another 500$. D:, *facepalm*, arghlwarghl, etc., and so on.

After last week's hormone-induced anxiety and then massive anger, I've meandered through a more typical low mood and then back to holy crap anxiety. :x Hence a panicky bout of Doing Things of a RL and holiday nature. At least that means the bills and present-wrapping are caught up on (only bits left are the last couple things yet to arrive). Have started planning my must-do list of things for January, including insurance and house-related issues. I guess this is the sort of thing I am good for now, but it means contacting people, which yeah, not my best skill.

foolish WoW fretting )

Jojo, I swear that beta will happen tomorrow, I mean it this time. :( It'll be my first thing on the list this time, I promise.
whitereflection: (sam fuck your shit up)
I swear, I am trying to be better today. Really, I promise. I've been trying. :x But. (You knew there was going to be a "but", right?)

The place repairing the car called to update today and left a message. Now it's not even the Monday/Tuesday promised yesterday. Now they say they're waiting for three parts, the last of which will not arrive until Wednesday the 22nd. But it gets *better*. The scheduled "done" date? DECEMBER 30th. I just...let me summarize my feelings on this by quoting the internet: WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN. If that's the case, they want to keep our car--for a minor fender-bender repair that is only requiring *three* parts--for a total of FIFTEEN days?? WTHIF.

I am *livid*. I know there's holidays, but this is fucking *ridiculous*. Even with it coming in the 22nd, I can't understand why they won't just get on it and then get it out by the 23rd. Why is this repair going to take EIGHT fucking days after they finally get the parts?

Called the husband at work and asked him to call the repair place and/or our insurance company. At the least, our insurance company needs to know that one of their chosen repair centers is absofucking dicking us around. And yeah, called the husband at work to make those calls, because while I am at home, if I were to contact them, there would be *screaming*. For fuck's sake.

Anyway. At the least, the rental is very nice, a 2010 Mazda 3 4d sedan with many ~features~. Considering I'm used to an eleven year old car with no features at all, it is rather neat. It makes me consider one of that type whenever we do get another vehicle.

But ugh...I want to hide in WoW to destress, but right now even WoW is stressing me. I absolutely don't even want to try more heroics at this point, and sort of want to just hide from the game entirely rather than deal with them. I sort of hate this point in the game. :x I know as a progression raider, that's what has to be done, just working on your main toon until they're ready for raiding so you don't slow down the group. But I want so badly to just play some meaningless alt and hide. I have such juvenile, regressive ways of reacting to stress. :/
whitereflection: (Default)
Mood is in the absolute crapper of late. One of the times pms is especially godawful, I suppose. But if I am extra withdrawn the last few days, that's why. Not doing well at dealing with people, even in-game. Anger issues are definitely a problem this time around, seriously blowing up at stupidly minor frustrations and people being idiots that I should shrug off. I'm always the one that looks bad for it, and it's embarassing; yet, I just can't seem to keep it under control.

Anyway. Ak hit 85 on Saturday, the husband's toon the next day. Starting the usual end-game routine of daily quests, rep grinding, dungeons and heroic dungeons. My annoyance with how they've set up the jewelcrafting profession compared to the other professions knows no bounds. But seriously, if the one guy in guild keeps pushing me around about my plans on how to get designs for the guild, especially since he's *helping out* and I'm the one that should be telling *him* how to proceed, I'm going to lose my shit again.

So behind on Christmas things. And I started out so well, too.

Edit: Also think I'm going to be dropping out of the j2everafter thing. I feel bad, since i claimed a signup someone else could have had. But at this point, I don't think there's any way I'm capable of finishing it (I haven't even done more than that tentative start from November), and am in a really bad mental place about my writing abilities.


Nov. 23rd, 2010 09:59 am
whitereflection: (sam narrowed eyes (bw))
Am I a cranky bitch? Why yes, yes, I am. :|

(Also *extremely* excited about it being the patch that starts The Shattering in WoW, and sparkle-eyed at the new splash screen and cinematic. But still, very, very, *very* cranky. Lots of "well, eff *you*" and "whateva, I do what I want" in my head, atm.)

>:[ >:E even.


Nov. 19th, 2010 08:04 pm
whitereflection: (WTHIF!!!!)

Son of a...asdfkjk >_< I guess I have to search for downloads after. FFFFFFFFFFFF.
whitereflection: (sam bloodrage)
Recently, a local high school teacher here was killed when hit by a car. A sad thing, a tragic accident, but...

Westboro Baptist Church is going to be picketing the funeral Friday. (http://www.ketv.com/news/25753392/detail.html, http://www.ketv.com/news/25766842/detail.html)






This isn't some major political figure, this isn't some person who lived in the public spotlight. This was just a person like you or me, who lived a decent, normal life and who had that ended tragically early.

And Westboro Fucking Baptist Church is fucking protesting at her funeral.

I just can't imagine what this must be like for her family, friends (she was an friend of my stepmother's), colleagues, and students. I have no words. But I have so very much anger. These twisted, sick fucks have evil in their hearts.
whitereflection: (j2 patpat (I'm here for you))
things )

Non-whiny thing--shoooooow toniiiiight. God, how to last through these last few hours. So very, very impatient.

mininano-wrisomifu )
whitereflection: (Default)
Was woken up a little bit ago by the doorbell (yeah I know, I'm a slacker, I suck)--flowers from my in-laws, as a belated birthday gift. I guess maybe the husband's birthday coming up on the 31st reminded them they'd missed mine back in August? To be honest, I didn't even notice they missed it...currently thinking "didn't they send a card/check or something?"--but I guess they must not have or they think they hadn't?

Had to have a tech out yesterday evening because our internet, cable tv, and even our phone were acting weird. Turns out that one, there was a broken component where the main cable company line meets the line run to the house. But also--the line to the house had been chewed into by squirrels exposing and damaging the inner wire. Squirrels. I just...what.


I dunno, I think the 'how to ruin forever' options for all three should be boxes where no one says anything at all.

For so little happening, life feels very strange at times. Also, holy hell, why is waking up so hard. And fuck allergies, seriously.
whitereflection: (Default)
Got Missy-cat to the vet this morning. They removed the growth, a short procedure that only took a bit over an hour. They'll send it for biopsy so we should know in a few days if it's something that we need to worry about. For now, she's doing really well, not acting too out of the ordinary at all. They gave her an antibiotic and steroid shot, and it left only a small incision, so hopefully it'll heal quick. Then there'll just be taking her back in a couple weeks to get the sutures out.

Another 550$+ today, though. : / This has been an expensive, expensive year for the cats. We never intended to have that many, but I kind of have liked having four. But I'm starting to agree with the husband's statement that as they age and eventually die, that he doesn't ever want to have more than two at a time again. I don't know how we ended up with ones that all have so many medical issues. There's always been so many other animals I've wanted to have, too, but I couldn't imagine doing so now, even beyond him saying no--the cost, even for just normal stuff, is so high. And when they have health issues, it's just astronomical. : /

Ugh, and now I've been short with Mom about something in regards to this all, and I seriously hate when I do that. But she gets so overly concerned, almost obsessive, about the littlest things, almost hypochondriac, and I'm already stressed and worrying about it all and about costs, and I just...crap. I mean, we've been home just a bit over an hour, and of course she's going to groom it some--they only said to go back for the cone if she really won't leave it alone--ffs, give it some time, mother.

Read the first two volumes (and some of the third) of Scott Pilgrim at Borders while Missy was having the vetwork done. Really was liking it, wish I could buy them. Definitely want to see the movie when it hits DVD.

I swear I'll get to comments tomorrow. :x Right now I want comfort!pizza-rolls. :x
whitereflection: (sam losing it (all))
The yay is that we got heroic 10m Putricide in WoW last night. It really is a cool thing, and the result of a lot of work. Only two more achievements left for the 10man drakes (heroic Sindrigosa and the Waited A Long Time For This one).

Really, really down today. A moodswing from being up/manic/productive last week, I guess. And I'm worried about one of my cats--Missy (aka cat 3 of 4), the maine coon. What we thought was a mat of fur is an about third inch growth on her skin, and I'm going to have to get her to the vet. Don't know if it's something that's infected/inflamed, or if it's a tumor of some sort.

But also, fandom is just...making me sad right now. I thought it was bad enough to see/hear about such hate for my favorite character, but to know how people are being to each other now...it's just really disheartening. I do not understand the meanness, the hurtfulness, even the swearing at each other. I just don't comprehend it. Aren't we in this for a common love of this show and it's characters? Even if you don't like all of the characters or parts of the show, don't people know how to be respectful and considerate of others, to know that something you say horrible things about might be something that someone else likes or even loves?

I guess for me...well, I'll put it simply. I like Sam Winchester. I like Jared Padalecki. I like fanworks, whether they be gen or slash or even RPF/RPS. I like Supernatural--and I will, I am pretty damned sure, continue to like it. But most of all, most importantly, I like you. There's a reason I friended you all, and there's a reason I keep you as friends and hope you keep me as well. I greatly appreciate that I can share in your lives in these small ways, and share in this common love of the show Supernatural, its characters, and cast/crew.

Please, just be excellent to each other?

Anyway. Stuff I have to do first, but what I want to do is find feel-good, uplifting, hopeful fic and just hide and wallow. Though I also kind of want to see if I have a DVD of Bill & Ted, and watch it and try to get rid of this stupid urge to cry I've had since waking up. I'm too old to be like this--I'm 37 not 17.


Sep. 10th, 2010 04:40 pm
whitereflection: (winchesters onoes it's The Man)
Dear self:

Fic posting date is the *18th*, not the 22nd. FFS, above all else, do not forget that again. Also, today may kind have sucked, but you *will* work on/finish the thing tomorrow or Sunday at the freaking latest, no more excuses. This is not hard, and it's not long. Why are you making it be hard when it isn't? Other people can compose something awesome in like, an evening's work.

Quit panicking (again),

Oh god, next Saturday. D:
whitereflection: (WTH DID YOU SCREW UP NOW)
So, anyone remember my cooking fail #3245340989 back awhile ago when I reheated chicken in the oven on an airbake pan (the sort that has holes in the bottom), and nearly set my oven on fire because of the grease/oil pooling on the bottom?

Stupid mistake, but you learn, and life goes on, right? RIGHT?

The other night, I made garlic bread. Margarine all over this bread, in the oven, on the airbake pan with holes in the bottom. I had a momentary thought of, oh hey, maybe I should put foil under these but thought naaah, why would I need to. I had no idea that there was enough margarine that it would seep out of the bread slices (admittedly, a hard-crusty sort). But it did, and thus oil on the bottom of the stove, started to burn and smoke, set off the smoke alarm. So yeah, another stupid, but I guess another one of those learning-stupid sorts of things.


After the chicken, I cleaned the bottom of the stove, got all the oil up.

After this garlic bread--I didn't even think to check the oven. Didn't even look. I think I just sort of assumed oh hey, surely there wasn't that much oil there.

Guess what. There was a lot of oil. And it was still there when I went to pre-heat the oven to start cooking dinner a bit ago.

Didn't just smoke, it SMOKED. House was fucking *filled* with smoke. Had to open the front door, patio door, garage door, and get the kitchen ceiling fans on high, and turn on all the box fans to try to blow air toward the open doors. It stinks in here. And now I've got to let the rest burn away (I won't lie--this was probably stupid, too but I have to admit I pulled out oven racks and found a rag I didn't mind trashing, soaked it with hot water, and sopped up the remaining oil best I could.) so I can even attempt to cook, because how awesome will stuff taste when it's seasoned with burning, huh?

But seriously. Why am I so freaking stupid like that? Why do I make so many stupid, brainless mistakes like that. I allegedly have common sense. Now I'm like the 'gifted' kid in the old Far Side cartoon that's shown pushing on the door marked "pull". Good fucking grief. I swear, one of these days I'm going to end up killing us all because I'm a dumbass. : /
whitereflection: (winchesters bridges behind us)
[livejournal.com profile] seisei_ftw, how are you so awesome? \o/ ♥ Seriously, you are awesome. Random vgifts are full of win. And awesome. ^___^ Thankyou~ *squishhug* (Also: (C o_o)C Crab battle! ♥ )

At least I've finally started on my [livejournal.com profile] summer_sam_love fic, because honestly I've been feeling like the worst failure ever for having not gotten my act together up until now. Was feeling more and more panic since there's only fifteen days left until I post, and I do want to leave sufficient beta and edit time. I'm good at having anxiety attacks over stupid little things, yeah. Anyway, it's only half done, and it won't be long (only about 2k so far), but considering it's sort of like pulling teeth, I'm glad to have that much and to have the basics of the rest bulleted out. But yeah, 2k words for over four hours of work--I'm not kidding when I say I'm a slow writer or when I say that it's like pulling teeth. I have a lot of respect and awe for those who can write fast, whether good or otherwise. This is why I'll never do a big bang.

By the way, I do appreciate those that offered to help me brainstorm ideas on this when I've posted about stressing on this before. I just...I had so little, just tiny seeds of what I wanted to do, that I was embarrassed to write anyone to get plotting help because it would highlight how much next-to-nothing I already had. I'm just glad I finally had bits and pieces finally come together in my head last week. It won't be epic or anything stellar or deep--I'm just hoping for okay, frankly. Simply done will be nice. :p (Ugh, too bad tomorrow's so busy...hopefully Thursday?)

I have a couple of people I'm going to PM about betaing (I haven't gotten beta help in a couple years, since an old fandom, for lack of fellow fans, and then later--seriously--for fear of how bad I'd be told what I did was once I did know fellow fans), but if one of them can't, I'll post and ask here.

Anyway, I still owe a ton of comments, have barely commented on anyone's posts or the ones sitting in my email for several weeks now. Apologies again. Stressing has sort of made me want to hide, a lot. : /

Also also...some of the extended family that was causing teh dramaz? Still going on. I'm glad I don't have to deal with it, but am upset that my mother and those family members I do care about are still having to. Those of my extended family that are freaks and idiots and are generally reprehensible, good lord, I wish someone would slap some sense into them, seriously. Punch some sense into them, better still.

August 2012

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