Feb. 27th, 2011 07:08 pm
whitereflection: (sam doesn't make a difference)
Another episode of How I Suck At Everything. This time, tabletop gaming edition. Can't wait for the next episode, online computer game edition (part eleventy-billion), coming tonight. Yeah, I know, just downhormonemo, but still. Just would like to do things and, preferably, be good at them, or at least just be able to do them and have fun without having to always having it pointed out that I'm fucking up. (And it bothers me when I try to talk about it with someone, and I don't get empathy or sympathy, just get blown off. Thanks.) Sometimes I think, is this the way things really are supposed to be--40 more years of just kind of being a screw-up? I just, seriously, what's the point. It's too bad I have no interest in children, my own or adopted, so I could at least feel like I accomplished something.

Funeral for my uncle is on Tuesday, at practically the exact same time my dentist appointment should have been. So first thing Monday I have to call my dentist and re-reschedule (funny thing how I just rescheduled last week because their office-closed days changed).

Been a fuckin cranky old woman the past couple days. Just...annoyed by stupid crap, and feeling like I am totally missing something by the way I simply don't care about certain things that others fan so hard they're all but in hysterics. I dunno, I guess, I just don't go hysterical about celebrities, and I still just am missing *something* about the one that like the whole fandom is nuts over--and I don't gush over celebrity couples, so when people freaking go insane about them, I just am like ", okay?" I dunno. I guess I'm just too old, too cynical and jaded, or something. And I'm a fucking picky bitch, too--saw a fic posted to some comm last night that if I didn't have a brain-to-typing filter, so *so* wanted to comment "Ohmygod, are you 12 or something?" So hi, I am a horrible person and full of unpopular opinions and bad thoughts.
whitereflection: (sam i should not love this fic)
Spaced off the gas utility bill, just realized as I was doing financial stuff a bit ago. It's due tomorrow, and of course when I went to put the mail out to send it, the mail person had already been by here. See, if I got up at a normal time instead of sleeping in too late (again), and if I would have gotten ready and done bills right away instead of messing around on the computer first, I would have had it out to be picked up in time. This is how not to be an adult.

Also, I'm an irritable bitch to people in my WoW guild, and am awesome at screwing up on the Sindragosa fight, more than anyone else. Yay.
whitereflection: (sam i'm so alone)
A decent movie day/night experience, all in all. Don showed Gamera the Brave (though I still prefer my Gamera all MST3K'd), Battle In Outer Space (which eventually put me to sleep), the first Doc Savage (which *thoroughly* abuses John Philip Sousa, is epically cheesy, and has the feel of the original Batman TV series), and Transformers 2 (enjoyed it more than I expected).

Fell on my ass walking out to the car from his place, as I suck at having balance and my shoes despite being Doc Martens boots fail at traction on hardpack stuff (guess I've worn it all down again). \o/ Klutztastic strikes again.

And on a related note to Transformers 2--[ profile] verbranden, the couple times I've teased that you secretly listen to Linkin Park? I ah. Sometimes listen to them. Have for years. :| Not at the moment, but still. I know. I'm sorry. I imagine this means love is over. :| :P
whitereflection: (oh sammy (What? No!))
Well...fuck. Dauntless experiment.........failed. Not that I didn't get in. Just found out the guild is being disbanded at the end of the month. So after all that stressing about apping and interviewing with them and about these first couple of weeks of raiding, after all the working my ass off and pushing myself to study and learn up to their level, after finding a group of people I was discovering I liked but more importantly that I *really* respected and looked up to...poof, gone. Well, by the 30th. And what really sucks is having spent that money on the server transfer. Now what do I do...?

/headwall, /headwall, headwall...just seems like everything is still intent on blowing up in my face. Hell, even the job hunt is total meh--have sent out apps, haven't heard anything back, so no interviews. Hi my name is fail rides again, yes?

[rantedit: At the least, the COBRA thing for my medical insurance is straightened out. Person from ex-work called last week all apologetic, and got the information to the company handling the COBRA stuff extra fast, who then got me the enrollment info sent out extra fast, with a good deadline to mail it back. Not that it's spectacular to be paying so much for insurance again, but insurance is a fucking stellar thing to have, so I definitely am happy about that. IF ONLY THIS COUNTRY WOULD HAVE GODDAMNED NATIONAL HEALTHCARE INSURANCE SO I COULD HAVE INSURANCE THAT WASN'T TIED TO A SPECIFIC WORKPLACE, ESPECIALLY SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IF WHATEVER NEXT WORKPLACE MIGHT EVEN HAVE MEDICAL INSURANCE BENEFITS AT ALL. Fuck, I seriously better not get started on that. The whole craptacular brouhaha has just made me want to say 'screw off' to a massive percentage of my fellow Americans. Why did I even bother thinking maybe people were starting to find their intelligence again? I should have known better. America, fuck yeah? More like America, fuck off.]
whitereflection: (sam i'm so alone)
Dear self,
Act a bit more awkward and foolish, why don't you. Nothing like cementing your role as the lame dumbass even harder than you already have been. Good luck fitting in anywhere ever. Try keeping your stupid to yourself once in a while.

/point and laugh,

And goddamn, but I'm looking forward to work today. /extreme sarcasm

August 2012

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