Melodramatic Fool

The yay is that we got heroic 10m Putricide in WoW last night. It really is a cool thing, and the result of a lot of work. Only two more achievements left for the 10man drakes (heroic Sindrigosa and the Waited A Long Time For This one).

Really, really down today. A moodswing from being up/manic/productive last week, I guess. And I'm worried about one of my cats--Missy (aka cat 3 of 4), the maine coon. What we thought was a mat of fur is an about third inch growth on her skin, and I'm going to have to get her to the vet. Don't know if it's something that's infected/inflamed, or if it's a tumor of some sort.

But also, fandom is just...making me sad right now. I thought it was bad enough to see/hear about such hate for my favorite character, but to know how people are being to each other now...it's just really disheartening. I do not understand the meanness, the hurtfulness, even the swearing at each other. I just don't comprehend it. Aren't we in this for a common love of this show and it's characters? Even if you don't like all of the characters or parts of the show, don't people know how to be respectful and considerate of others, to know that something you say horrible things about might be something that someone else likes or even loves?

I guess for me...well, I'll put it simply. I like Sam Winchester. I like Jared Padalecki. I like fanworks, whether they be gen or slash or even RPF/RPS. I like Supernatural--and I will, I am pretty damned sure, continue to like it. But most of all, most importantly, I like you. There's a reason I friended you all, and there's a reason I keep you as friends and hope you keep me as well. I greatly appreciate that I can share in your lives in these small ways, and share in this common love of the show Supernatural, its characters, and cast/crew.


Please, just be excellent to each other?

Anyway. Stuff I have to do first, but what I want to do is find feel-good, uplifting, hopeful fic and just hide and wallow. Though I also kind of want to see if I have a DVD of Bill & Ted, and watch it and try to get rid of this stupid urge to cry I've had since waking up. I'm too old to be like this--I'm 37 not 17.

I think I'm going to have to just dl tonight's ep and watch...tomorrow morning maybe, hopefully. In such a wretched mood, I don't think I can't even imagine trying to enjoy/glee on it. Just sort of had it up to here with a few extended family members and certain of my aunt's friends really always making me feel shoved to the background/to the side, like I don't matter, like they and what they feel are more important and I, you know, should just get out of the way or something (even though I'm always so careful to give others space and take turns and tend to stick to the background--just the few times I try to sit closer and have a little time, x y or z just sort of takes over and pushes their way in and acts like I'm some nobody that should shove off). And there's even been a few times they've done this to my dad and he's her fucking *brother*, and they were *close*. I don't know. I'm just stupidly upset, and sort of having this 'so this is what x and y really think about me' sort of moment. I'm just getting stupidly fed up with certain people being so fucking self-centered and selfish. (And/or it just illustrates that while I've felt fondly about certain extended family, that they don't give a shit about me and don't think I'm worth anything).

Every once in a while my aunt is having a few minutes where she'll give short responses to a question/statement, like a word or two, but not really opening her eyes. Few minutes last night, few minutes this morning and this afternoon. The theory is that liver issues are causing the latest problems--synthesizing but not breaking down, thus liver values are very increased and so now there's *those* toxins building up. They're wanting to see given 24-48 hours if it improves like kidneys/lungs did, or if it doesn't, and we're back to a couple of weeks ago.