Melodramatic Fool

Back to the 4am insomnia a lot again lately. Too bad I can't be productive during those hours and get something done with them--just end up awake but mostly useless. Today especially am extra dead, though--other than driving Mom to her errands and reading a short fic over for someone, all I can do is nap (earlier) or stare (currently). There's stuff I should be doing but all I want to do is sleep again. Which won't help come tonight but even with caffeine there's just no energy at all left. Have even run out of energy for reading, and I mean come on, how hard is it to *read*? Dear self, way to be a waste of oxygen. (And it's stupid, I think hey, at least I get up no later than 8-9 or even as early as 6, but how getting up and then napping a lot different than just sleeping in super late?)

Over the past couple days the songs For Blue Skies by Strays Don't Sleep, Turn and Turn Again by All Thieves, and The Trapeze Swinger by Iron & Wine have made me not just cry, but sob/weep. Fuck you, hormones, fuck you (I was never this bad when I was in my teens/20s. I just, I mean, what.)

As much as I hate Nebraska, I'm glad I'm not having to worry about a tropical storm/hurricane right now. :x Stay safe down there, folks.

( edit: wtfdream )

Just sitting up at way too fucking late o'clock, listening to it thunder and thunder and thunder. It's been one long storm all day today/yesterday.

Also: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html
Yes.

Dear self: learn to not eat chips and salsa at 10pm. I don't care if lunch ended up being super late, don't do it. You will feel horrid later, and especially at say, 4:05am.

Thunder and thunder and even more thunder.

A full 7 days of unanswered comments in my email. I doth sucketh.

Crashed hard a couple hours this evening (last evening? Ah, the brilliance of middle of the night posting...)--right after having a Mountain Dew, not sure how I managed that. Got woken up by a phone call from Anj, dozed more, then was up again, which of course resulted in being awake until the stupid time of now, rather intelligent of me, yes.

This is the most awesome thing: acockalypse. This is another most awesome thing:
( spoilery Stonehenge Apocalypse gif of awesome )

The reason Anj had called, though, was that the husband and I were supposed to have gone to a movie night at Don's tonight, I guess. Don did his usual not emailing about it until middle of last week, but I didn't see because I don't check my cable ISP email much anymore--only by chance checked it tonight, saw the email at 6:22 when we would have had to leave at 6:30 (not to mention stop at the store for stuff to bring with, plus the whole neither of us were leaving-the-house ready so that would have required time). Sent him a reply that we weren't going to be there and gave him the Yahoo email I actually check. Honestly, if he wanted to do something with just a couple days notice, I wish he'd call, or if he insists on doing so by email, I wish he'd give more warning. That always drives me nuts about him.

Might have also raided ysi_leftovers like crazy. Someone had a post with a bunch of Cat Power and Bad Religion albums, and I might have picked up Adam Lambert's two (don't judge me), Kane's plus his EP (hush, I was curious), one of Jem just because, and one of Black Rebel Motorcycle Club since I heard them on a fanmix and wanted more. Also trying some Treetop Flyers, Sean Pinchin, and We Are The Fallen. I know there's a lot on my Amazon mp3 wishlist I need to actually buy, but with the furnance/ac and cat vet bills of late, I'm just, you know. : /

So today we were *supposed* to have the vents/ductwork cleaned. You know, like was planned when I signed the contract to have the furnace/ac replaced, and like was scheduled for today last week. But I got this call from the company last night. They wanted to reschedule because they've been blasted with emergency repairs--because our temps have hit upper 80s/lower 90s (and it's humid to boot). Okay, no big deal, I can respect that.

Then I find out they want to reschedule...for almost a MONTH from now. Um. WHAT. Fucking June 21?

I can see having to shuffle a few days. But there is no way in HELL that they have three-four solid weeks of emergency repairs that have come up. More like what's happened is they've fucking overbooked, and they expect me to go to the back of the damned line for it. Um sorry, but wtf. I agreed to this, paid for this, scheduled this, and even the sales people told me to get it done as soon as possible after getting that new furnace and heat pump installed. So I want it done *promptly* and not to be made to wait a damned month after--*especially* not after they scheduled me for just a week after install originally.

I am about ready to be done with this company. I feel like I'm being treated cavalierly, like my business really doesn't matter to them. And when I protested the appointment move, they *laid a fucking guilt trip on me*, basically making me be the bad guy by demanding the service when there were people out there who'd be going without AC if I took claimed the two workers for my appointment. I hate that, you know? The way if I put my foot down I'd be the bad guy in this and a bitch.

Though what can I say. It works. : / I let them reschedule me for June 21, but the person on the phone said she'd have her manager call me to discuss it since I was unhappy about it. Fine, whatever. Let's see if the manager even calls. And if she does, I'm going to emphasize that I've used their company for near 10 years and have just spent near $10K with them this year (hell, more like almost 12K considering the water heater I got from their sister plumbing company in March), and I'd like them to act like I fucking matter to them, even just a little bit.


And also, thanks life. I see friends blogging about college and summer break and convention trips and other fun things, and here I'm thinking about 37 in a few months and writing a post about my heating/cooling system *again*. I feel old.

http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=552
Yeah.

TopatoCo: (3) Honor Student Bumper Stickers
from http://wondermark.com/552/
Why is this not on a t-shirt? Why? I just...what I would do for that as a shirt.

Bummed out over a stupid, minor, tiny thing. One of those body of an adult/brain of a insecure teenage girl things. Just have had a certain mental/emotional button pretty much all my life, way back since I was a kid, of how if someone wanted to be a friend, that when I'd let them get to know me, they'd not want to be a friend anymore. Kinda got that button pressed again. Suckage. Doesn't matter if you're 36, 26, 16, or 6, it always kinda blows.

Wish I would've put this on that Sam fanmix:
http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858766939/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KkUeRPjc-Y
Someday I'll get to see these guys live in concert and then I'll be able to die happy. :p

I sort of noticed yesterday, but have really, really, really noticed today, that I am extremely, horribly, excruciatingly irritable and cranky. And petty and petulant. :< I understand being tired and drained but good freaking grief, this is ridiculous. I've been snarky at folks online here, short with the husband, and extremely snippy with Mom. Even annoyed with the cats.

And now I'm finding I'm the sort of lousy person that can't just accept that people at a community are having fun with a topic that I'm not interested in, but instead am feeling whiny that they're not choosing a topic I do happen to be interested in. I mean, ffs, self, get over yourself and grow up. Let them have their fun and excitement and enthusiasm. Just because it is often emphasized that they're interested in this subset of fandom you're just not that into, it doesn't mean you're being left out or excluded.

Afsdfjghasdf arghlblargh. I hate me.

L.H. Puttgrass signing off and heading for the tub. (No, not really. Old Bloom County quote. I miss Bloom County.)


[Oh right, and to mention something that isn't me being a whiny little bint, here's a Supernatural video that is absofucking amazing. Seriously. Ab-so-fuh-king a-ma-zing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_fyhjDvsy4
Supernatural (go.back.to.sleep.) by TikiTyler9. Damned good shit. And I so freaking love that song. Thanks to fabilimah for reccing the video.]

http://www.explodingdog.com/title/doyouknowhowifeel.html Too bad I don't have any coffee.
http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/day/2010/03/22/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJdseQsEbng My new anthem.

( Really lousy quote icons \o/ (that is to say, lousy icons, not lousy quotes) )

After 4:30 and I haven't slept yet. \o/ Way to be.

Spaced off the gas utility bill, just realized as I was doing financial stuff a bit ago. It's due tomorrow, and of course when I went to put the mail out to send it, the mail person had already been by here. See, if I got up at a normal time instead of sleeping in too late (again), and if I would have gotten ready and done bills right away instead of messing around on the computer first, I would have had it out to be picked up in time. This is how not to be an adult.

Also, I'm an irritable bitch to people in my WoW guild, and am awesome at screwing up on the Sindragosa fight, more than anyone else. Yay.

http://www.gorillaz.com/
I did not know they had a new CD coming out March 9, I did not know this \o/ Eeeeeeeee \o\ \o/ /o/ Ohman, I geeked so freaking hard over Demon Days. And now I cannot waaaaaaaaaaaaait for Plastic Beach \o/♥ I'm already hooked on the song Stylo.

No, I have no taste. Or what taste I do possess is once again dictated by my inner 12-13 year old boy. Egads.

Whooooo thought it'd be a good idea to stay up until 5:20am reading fic when having to be up at 6? \o/ \o/ \o/ A winner is so me. Oh, self, your utter brilliance overwhelms. I hate when I get manic-y. (And why are you so weak for wingfic, self, whyyyyyyyyyyyyy...) Napped as the husband got ready for work, after dropping him off at work/before dropping off Mom at the outpatient place for the carpal tunnel surgery, and will probably nap a little more shortly. Do I know how to completely waste a day, or what? : /

It is stupid cold outside, with stupid wind chills. Stuuuuuuuuuupid.