ill-fitting

[whitereflection]

http://catandgirl.com/?p=2477

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6020595/1/Fault_Lines
K Hanna, T (gen), 7876 words. Am v happy of late that the gen authors I follow are releasing their 'zine fics, has been a lot of good reading (esp from those hurt!Sam authors I like best).


Sometimes I feel as if fandom has me going through junior high school all over again. Like really wanting to be liked and approved of by certain people that I think are superawesomecool, but getting the feeling that they don't. It's weird, I really miss the Gundam Wing fandom--which is dumb, because that led to being hoaxed by someone I considered a best friend. But before all that, I felt so much a part of such a happy and fun group; I never felt as much a weirdo outsider, never felt that I unintentionally caused dislike so easily. I guess I just need to be a lot more cautious about opinions/thoughts/extreme emotion. Or maybe I'm just being self-conscious about not fitting in again (You'd think a person would grow out of that sort of thing, but you don't. Or maybe that's just me, I don't know.).

Comments

[akintay.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I feel as if fandom has me going through junior high school all over again. Like really wanting to be liked and approved of by certain people that I think are superawesomecool, but getting the feeling that they don't.
Oh, I know exactly what you mean. I felt the same way when I started getting involved in this fandom. It's gotten better though - mainly because I have my own circle of friends here - kinda my little corner in fandom and I'm completely happy there (though yeah, I still sometimes come across people who I fangirl a little and I want them to like me).

And now I'm super curious about who you think is superawesomecool. It's funny how different people's opinions on this are.

&hearts

[cacklesthewitch.livejournal.com]

Fandom can definitely be like high school, which is a shame because you'd think that the fact that there is some anonymity would quell some of those feelings. Of course, it works both ways, because people can be more, um, "outspoken" than they would in rl and leave you feeling a bit like a dweeb.

And apparently, not all of us grow out of it. The self-conscious thing is actually worse for me in rl, but it definitely happens sometimes in fandom, too. You shouldn't let it censor you, though. Your journal is yours to express opinions/thoughts/extreme emotion (and it's not like you're ranting about killing bunnies for lulz or some such thing).

[lady-eilthana.livejournal.com]

I think fandom is more like kindergarten.

[joseishijin.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I hear ya...I enjoy several fandoms without really "belonging" so whenever I see friends squeeing and flailing, I always feel a little wistful, but then I think there are one or two people around that think I am superawesomecool and I feel a little better.

P.S. Even though I am not in the SPN fandom, I know you are superawesomecool. It's just a fact. ; )

[ditta-spn.livejournal.com]

I try to stay away from all the things I know will piss me off!!