Melodramatic Fool

As a nod to '42' day yesterday, listened to my CDs of the Hitchhiker's Guide BBC radio productions. Phases one and two, that is. I remember in college a buddy I tabletop gamed with telling me about listening on the radio, and him giving me cassette tapes he'd made of the broadcasts. It's a weird sort of 'comfort' thing.

Have signed up for mini_nanowrimo. Only the bare minimum, 100 words per day. The amount of words won't be what I have to struggle with, but the concept of doing so for 30 days. I've never written for 30 days in a row before. If I'm "up", it won't be difficult, but the challenge will come when I'm feeling like I have been for the last few days, very low and/or tired. Hoping to see if it can be a sort of training exercise for developing writing habits in general and not just when I'm 'sparked', and to learn to work through bad mood swings.

Moment of SPN fan pride--have gotten two of my longtime WoW friends to start watching. One's Netflixing, so she's only on like the second disk of 1st season, but seems to be enjoying it. The other has just finished s2 and is about to start 3--and said while he liked it, it was the episode "Heart" that made him go "Damn, this is good." This makes me full of fan happiness.

daily_wincest, dailyjsquared, and j2_recs have been giving me some happy. Sad that some are comms that have been around awhile and I'm just discovering them.

http://keerawa.livejournal.com/119486.html
'The Price of Justice' by keerawa, PG, 6.03 coda, 300 words. So very good and insightful. Her grasp of characterization is just so amazing.

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/l/linkin_park/burning_in_the_skies.html
This is now my Sam song for pre-s6/6.01. Seriously. I just. In love with that song.

Also have heard the full song for the the trailer that's on the MCR site, Na Na Na, and am freaking nuts for it. Looking forward to sometime driving very fast to it.

re: WoW. Got heroic Sindrigosa \o/ Then we promptly screwed up, and did the Waiting A Long Time For This LK achievement wrong, tracking the wrong debuff. Fffffffff. It was a raid ID extention, too, so we have to wait until next Wed. to do it the right way and finally get our 10man drakes. So freaking disappointed. In the meantime, allegedly going to get the last achieve we need for the old Ulduar rusted protodrakes Sunday, just for the hell of it (hopefully Algalon, too).

Weird mood continues. Saving some fic in tabs for some reason the last few days instead of reading right away, while then rereading other older fic. Don't ask me why. I don't get me.

Ohyeah, and the mic part of my headset decided to go bad like out of the blue. One second it was fine, the next it's all fucked up and my talking's coming through as horrid static. It's weird, because the headphones part's just fine. And I don't hear it--but everyone else hears it. I dunno. I know they're old, like probably between 4-5 years old, but still, it's odd.

ETA: and this http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858838511/ (Linkin Park - Iridescent) is so, so a Sam during Swan Song song. Good golly. ♥ And I imagine it's obvious that I'm really liking their A Thousand Suns CD. :| Really, really liking. :| (Time to sign off before I start spazzing about The Catalyst, too.)

http://www.mychemicalromance.com/trailer/
I have rewatched this trailer for the new My Chemical Romance CD so, *so* many times these last few days. I need that song (Art Is A Weapon). Seriously, I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed it. Can't wait for the full video, too--such visual crack. All those brilliant colors and wonderful, freaky, Mad-Maxish bizarreness. Hell, I want the whole CD like woah. But especially that song. Stupid tidbit is stuck in my heeeeead. (And so many phrases I want on SPN icons: "louder than God's revolver and twice as shiny", "the future is bulletproof", "it's time to do it now and do it loud"...yeeeeah). Criminy, I'm such a sucker for that sort of music. My brain is forever a teenager.

Cold is finally going away, though yesterday it finally caught up with me and I crashed hard. Spent the entire day sleeping. Just couldn't stop. It was a good thing Mom'd already offered to do soup for dinner, because I was utterly useless for anything but being a lump on the couch (and also a cat pillow).

My mood is very weird right now, and not in a ha-ha way. And outside, summer keeps trying to hold on. I'm behind on my comments, though fortunately/unfortunately there aren't many. And I've been so freaking bipolar about my writing these last few days it's not even funny (sometimes I think I need a writing therapist, honestly).

( and yet another quirk of mine :x )

Okay. Okay, so I saw this, and it made me laugh.
http://failblog.org/2010/08/10/epic-fail-photos-sign-fail-26-sushi-win/
Then my brain went "J2 fic involving Chad Michael Murray the sushi chef", and I laughed *hysterically* until I couldn't breathe. What gets me is that notes like that don't happen in a workplace unless it's already been done. *heeeeeee*

Old weird flash animation nostalgia, part go:
http://www.echelonrana.com/viking.html
Dean always pretends he's looking at porn sites when Sam comes back to their motel room, but Sam knows perfectly well what Dean's really watching on the laptop.

Two for the everything is about SPN files:
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2010/08/win-with-civility.html
Fourth image down. I guess Becky ordered Sam a decorated cookie? :p

http://www.robandelliot.cycomics.com/archive.php?id=404
The boys play chess. Or something. :p

Dentist appointment tomorrow. D: Booooooo. Had forgotten about it.

http://catandgirl.com/?p=2545
Yep.

Took Mom out for dinner for her 60th yesterday, and gave her the Kindle that my brother, his gf, and the husband and I all got for her (for birthday and Christmas, at least for James and I, considering our budget). She's very gleeful about it.

Realized it's been over 3 years since I posted Put Your Hands Into The Fire (a KHII thing for that one springkink community). That one to this day remains the only thing I've written that I not only like, but have read/reread for my own enjoyment. I think the thing I miss most about AkuRoku was feeling like I actually could do (at least my interpretation of) the characters right, that I actually had a bit of confidence/comfortability with them and didn't feel so awkward (and I feel like I did schmoop better back then, too). Definitely the reverse for writing for SPN now--I have yet to really feel comfortable in Sam and Dean's heads, and even Our Endless Numbered Days isn't one I truly like (I see so many things I did wrong with it, ugh. How the hell did it ever get recced.).

It's funny, I've written four short things and one long piece for both fandoms. Though that doesn't count any spnland work (which in a way I don't consider because some/most of it was half-assed, none was beta'd or submitted to any communities) or poetry (I have trouble counting poetry amongst fanwork in a way because sometimes it feels like fandom doesn't really count it--like at some of the comms that track fanworks for a pairing, they'll note fic, serial fic, bigbangs, drabbles, art, videos...but not poetry.). If I counted all that, I've done more for SPN, which makes me even more frustrated with feeling like such a bumbling newbie still.

Am worrying about the challenge I signed up for at summer_sam_love. The germ of an idea I had (I claimed doing a fic tag for Swan Song) has refused to spark and feels pretty much dead. And I just can't seem to generate any other ideas at all, especially ones that haven't already been done and done again, and aren't just completely 2-D, flat and lifeless. I worry that I need to contact them and give the episode to someone else to claim--but I so wanted to do *something*, you know? I really, really think Sam is awesome and just wanted to *show* that somehow. Bah. I dunno. Maybe I'll give it another week or so.

Today I got to read something that made me verra happy ♥--but nothing I can rec yet ;) And this evening was once again way late to the party by seeing the live action Alice In Wonderland (with Anj and Gina), which I loved way much. And James grilled hot dogs/polish dogs that Anj brought over, and I baked one of those rhubarb pies from http://villagepiemaker.com/ \o/ Good times.

However...tomorrow is Father's Day, I see my Dad for lunch tomorrow at 1pm (along with Mom, James, my stepmother, brother and his gf). And I don't have a Father's Day gift for him yet. >_> Um.

Crashed hard a couple hours this evening (last evening? Ah, the brilliance of middle of the night posting...)--right after having a Mountain Dew, not sure how I managed that. Got woken up by a phone call from Anj, dozed more, then was up again, which of course resulted in being awake until the stupid time of now, rather intelligent of me, yes.

This is the most awesome thing: acockalypse. This is another most awesome thing:
( spoilery Stonehenge Apocalypse gif of awesome )

The reason Anj had called, though, was that the husband and I were supposed to have gone to a movie night at Don's tonight, I guess. Don did his usual not emailing about it until middle of last week, but I didn't see because I don't check my cable ISP email much anymore--only by chance checked it tonight, saw the email at 6:22 when we would have had to leave at 6:30 (not to mention stop at the store for stuff to bring with, plus the whole neither of us were leaving-the-house ready so that would have required time). Sent him a reply that we weren't going to be there and gave him the Yahoo email I actually check. Honestly, if he wanted to do something with just a couple days notice, I wish he'd call, or if he insists on doing so by email, I wish he'd give more warning. That always drives me nuts about him.

Might have also raided ysi_leftovers like crazy. Someone had a post with a bunch of Cat Power and Bad Religion albums, and I might have picked up Adam Lambert's two (don't judge me), Kane's plus his EP (hush, I was curious), one of Jem just because, and one of Black Rebel Motorcycle Club since I heard them on a fanmix and wanted more. Also trying some Treetop Flyers, Sean Pinchin, and We Are The Fallen. I know there's a lot on my Amazon mp3 wishlist I need to actually buy, but with the furnance/ac and cat vet bills of late, I'm just, you know. : /

Taking Mom to my second cousin's wedding shortly, and Nebraska being what it is, they've changed their mind twice already today about whether it's being held outside or at where the reception will be. They've settled on outside, even though we're still predicted to have thunderstorms. \o/ Should be awesome. At least the aunt I ranted about recently won't be there after all--I guess only some of the family is invited (the term 'good parts of the family' may or may not have been used). Ah, family politics. Just the way my mother's side of the family is--there are just some with whom most people really, really, really, really would not want to associate.

The other day in WoW, I reported another player to the GMs for having the name "Nofatgirlsx". They dealt with the situation, and forced them to change their name. Which they changed to "Nofatgirlsxo". Have rereported them. Saw another name I wanted to report because it's gross and once again a crack on women, but didn't because I didn't want to be seen as causing trouble with too many reports at once. May do so in a couple days. Just a reminder of what the online environment can be like. I once saw a poll on NPComic about whether it was harder to be a male gamer or a female gamer, and it makes me want to rant at all those who voted that it's tougher to be a male gamer. Show me, SHOW ME where boys/men have to deal constantly with sexually derogatory or harassing names or guild names (how many versions of the guild [Come Honor Face] have there been now?), constant demeaning comments about their gender as a whole in the chat channels, even dismissive and near-discriminatory behaviors from their own guildmates? I sure don't remember in any of the guilds I was in having someone say that you had to watch male players because they caused more drama like some guy once tried to tell me was the case with female players.

Cranky, cranky, cranky. Awesomes.

It's funny that the thing I was looking forward to doing most for spnland was writing, and ironically, what's the thing I haven't been able to do almost at all since it started? Yeah. Started out okay, but ever since.... Nearly nothing. Wouldn't even call it being blocked or locked up, because that implies there's something there to block or lock up. There's just really nothing in my head, writing-wise. And I'm gonna just laugh at myself for the whole "I wanna be a poet" thing, because yeah. To write as a career, you have to be able to, you know.... There's just no words, not for fan stuff, not for original projects.

Naturally, I actually had one idea for this one challenge due tomorrow (love letter from one character to another), and I was like yay and worked on it, and then realized the rules state it's got to be major, named characters and what I had won't work, not a bit. Sooo yeah. Awesomes. Least there's games there, because that's the only stuff I seem to be able to accomplish. That and voting on things.

I guess I could understand if I were just having trouble with character-focused things, because I'm a pretty lousy fan that just isn't as into secondary characters all that much, and some I'm outright *blah* on. I mean, yeah, I like Bobby and some others, but really if it isn't Sam or Dean (or okay, maybe the Impala), I just don't get too motivated. But there's been plenty of general writing challenges that don't demand certain characters, in which I could have written with Sam and Dean. Yet still no inspiration or success at motivating myself.

Then lately when I see everyone talking about their big bang projects, I get the little thought in my head of "Next year I'll try that!". Hey, self? Yeah. This is me pointing and laughing at you. LoooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooool. Pull the other one, it's got bells on. Dumbass.


At least I can accomplish things in WoW (Nin to 72, Sampala to 17), that's worth something right? Right? Yeah, didn't think so. :|

Someone sent me a sugary bunny virtual gift :D :D :D I don't know who it was, but whomever you are, ilu~! ♥ It's so cute X3 Thankyou!

I need to find the link of it, but one of my uncles on my mom's side (one of her younger brothers) pointed her at a Youtube video he and some friends did of them blowing up a junk van with dynamite. Mom's family is odd like this, yes. This is my genetics. :| And he's one of the *good* crazy ones. (Though at times he's somewhat of a lazy, forgetful doofus, but anyway.)

In WoW news, I used the AV weekend to finally accomplish two goals I've had for Ak for a very, very long time. One was to get exalted with the AV (Frostwolf) faction (38th exalted--need Timbermaw and...something else now, for the 40 exalteds achievement). The second, was finally FINALLY getting the 100 mount achievement.

( And the reward~! )

I have wanted the red dragonhawk for so very long--it's one of those in-my-own-head roleplay things. There are certain things important to him as a character, including the Wyrmrest Accord faction and his red drake mount, his black drake mount, anything to do with the Argent Crusade faction/Ashen Verdict faction and his standing as 'exalted champion' for such and title of Crusader. But most of all, his racial identity and loyalty to Silvermoon City (the rebuilt bloodelf capital). That red dragonhawk looks just like the ones in Eversong Forest in the bloodelf starting zones, and to me is iconic of the race. Thus it was something I wanted to really have a sense of him being "of Silvermoon City" (which is the title I've switched back to for the moment). Anyway. Yay ♥ (And getting the last 3 mounts I needed only took two grueling, grueling days of pvping in mostly AV with some Wintergrasp thrown in. Ohgod, all the losses, over and over and over and over, with so few wins, just to eek out the honor and the rep. Egads.) Also, yes I know it looks orange but is labeled red. Blizzard is colorblind (see 'violet' protodrake that is pink/fuschia).

Friends wandered over for the evening, spent more time playing the original God of War with Kelly spectating and Anj walking me through. Post title is something I said during the proceedings. :p Have gotten past the Cerberus fight, and left off in this godawful room where you're supposed to get into alcoves for chests before you get trapped in and impaled on spikes. The 'puzzles' or minigames or whatever you call it in GoW are designed by sadists, I think. I normally don't talk when I game, but this one has me going from "crapsticks" to "fucksticks" to "AUGHWTFWTFWTFshitshitshit!". But Anj says I'm picking up on it faster than she did her first run through, so go me or something. \o/ Random tangent--I love Kratos' Artemis blade. Love. After I first got that, I started cleaving mobs in two and decapitating things and it made me honest to god *giiiiiiiiiiggle* in glee. And it's pretty 8D (First sparking blue and now sparking purple X3 ♥) You can keep your dressy girl stuff--I want me a Big Ass Sword that's pretty and glowy and sparking/sparkling. 8D 8D (Or axe. Big Ass Axe also works. :3 )

P.S. also ysi_leftovers is my new best friend. :x Yes, I am very late to the party on this sort of thing I'M SLOW OKAY D: But omg muuuuuuusic music music music. I found so much yesterday >_> I will have to poke at it more soon. :3 (I do buy and will still buy, I promise \o/ This just...helps, with the whole not getting to do so often thing.)