swing

[whitereflection]

Man, I hate how something like hormones can harsh my squee so much, and so thoroughly. Was all excited and eager this morning, heck even since last night, and now just...meh. But it makes little things like the cats hairballing (goddamnit, spring) or yet more stupid ffs guild drama bring me down stupidly hard. And glad I got the fanmix posting out of the way first thing because by now I'm all "bah, it sucks" and would have convinced myself to just ditch it. Blah.

But yeah, meh. Mope mope mope. Also I like how when in-game friend sends a message asking for advice re: our guild drama (our guild leader's quitting the game entirely), and I send him a several paragraph reaction and then plainly state that I don't have a clue how to handle things yet and will need a day or two to think about it--he promptly messages back and says he'll be in Vent tonight. I dunno, but tonight doesn't sound like 'a day or two' that I said I'd need, does it? Wait there all you want, dude, but I'm not gonna freaking be there. Need some mental space and hiding time, thanks. Grr. Argh.

Oh jeebus, verbranden. :x Just saw that message, sending thoughts to you guys. Hope he's okay.

This is just lovely and vivid and hits me just right:
http://community.livejournal.com/huntersarchives/49154.html
Into this house we’re born by paxlux, PG-13, Gen, 2636 words

Comments

[agent-jl36.livejournal.com]

Sometimes real life is a pain in the ass. Don't you wish you could just stay in fandom glee? Here's to a better day *cheers!*

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

♥ Hehe, thanks. And man, you said it--wish every day could be a squee-about-fandom sort of day.

[verbranden.livejournal.com]

God I am so fucking over life right now. I mean shit, it seems like around every corner is some fucking disaster waiting to fuck shit up. I'm just about ready to give the fuck up on everything and I'm handling shit the only way I know how which is getting raging drunk and trying to pretend the world doesn't exist and just drown in my head. Like, if I just stay in my head, the world won't fuck with me anymore or something. God. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, sorry for like, I dunno, doing this all over your journal, it's just god. I mean, fuck, nothing can just go right for me. Am I in a hell of my own making? I am plagued not only with external difficulties, but so much self doubt. I have no idea about who I am as a person and I'm just so scared that underneath, there's nothing really good. Just an insecure, oversensitive idiot with a raging inferiority complex.

Sorry, so sorry. I've put down over a bottle of wine just on my own. I really shouldn't be doing this, but damn.

[verbranden.livejournal.com]

He wasn't hurt though, figured I'd let you know that in case you were worried.

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

I was crossing my fingers about that, yeah. Glad he was okay, though I imagine with it being totalled that he's gotta be achy. Stupid car crap. My brain automatically goes to 'sue the place that allegedly fixed it', but not sure that'd do anything productive for you guys.

[verbranden.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what a lot of people have mentioned to me. Plus, they just assume that because I work at a law firm, it will be my first course of action. But honestly, it would be such a small claim, the job itself was only a couple hundred and the car was only worth $480 assessed value that, like you said, it would just end up being a lot of work for no real benefit.

The accident itself wasn't as bad as I first feared. He was just driving around town like usual, went to stop at a traffic light and the brakes failed and he hit the car in front of him. The reason the car is totaled is more because the car's worth about $2 rather than the extent of the damage. It would cost $1,500 to fix (just body damage, that isn't even taking into account what we'd need to have done to actually get the brakes working), which is over three times what the car's worth, so we're giving a pass, selling it for scrap for about $300 and just looking for a new car for him. The damage to the car is mostly that the hood crumpled like paper even at such light impact and there's some damage to the radiator.

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

S'ok, truly. You need to vent this crap out, and here's absolutely fine, as fine as any place. The stress builds up, and you've had and have a fuckton of stress, and it's better to let it out even in this small way than have it eating at you more. And to be honest, I see nothing wrong with the wine either :p Alcohol for you is food for me is pot for Seth--we each have our thing. You don't go out driving like that, so that's all I'd ever quibble about.

*hugs*, though. I'd be about breaking down for all the crap you've had to go through, so it's not just you. It's been just one thing after another, and on top of a seriously stressful job and all sorts of crap. I don't know what to say to help the feelings about self, though, because I struggle with that too, and I haven't found a way to counter that. I just know that in a hell of a lot of ways, I see you >>>>> me, in just about every way. And I know how others see us doesn't help what we feel about ourselves, but still, leaving that out there.

♥ Hope life quits crapping on you guys.

[verbranden.livejournal.com]

"♥ Hope life quits crapping on you guys"

We just got home from the E.R. because Hylke took a bad blow to the face just above his eye while playing soccer; it took him down. He's released now, has some meds and has to lay low the next few days.

[joseishijin.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Fuck hormones, dude. For real.

And I don't know verbranden, but I think she could use a hug, too, so *hugs*

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

Seriously, yeah. *hugs back*

And thanks, on her behalf. She does. ^^; Will pass that along. ♥