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[personal profile] whitereflection
Yeah, I know, a drabble. :/ I just wanted to write myself a little something to feel better, and a)this was what was in my head, not to mention b)short is something I'd finish for once. Anyway. Side benefit, maybe it'd give Katkat some feel-betters, too.

Title: 7am
Fandom: Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts 2)
Note: Self-edited but not truly beta'ed. Much abuse of grammar and punctuation. Not sure I'd post to any communities or ff.net. My usual bittersweet sort of squoosh-sap.



7am


Axel doesn't like to open his eyes in the morning.

It's not that he doesn't want to wake up, or that the first few moments of blurry-gritty-rubbing-the-crud-away annoys him more than it does anyone else. It's just at that heartbeat moment of waking, when wobbling on the balance beam-border between dreams and consciousness, there's still some small, hidden-away, aching, *hollow* part of him that remembers

--opening his eyes time and time and time again to the featureless whitewhitewhite walls of his room at the Organization's H.Q, and knowing his friend's room would still be empty, unlived in
--forcing his eyes to stay open just a few seconds longer, to see one last glimpse of the wrong blue eyes while seeking the right blue eyes hidden deep within, while trying to explain to this Other *why*
--closing his eyes, and opening them, and closing them, and opening them, and it *didn't change* that all he saw was blackness, darkness, a nothing that stretched on forever and yet was composed of him alone, and he supposed it might have been cold if he could feel anything at all

...and there's a sharp pang like a (key)blade's point to his chest that maybe this time--who knows how many lifetimes later--when he opens his eyes, Roxas will be gone again. Or won't have been there at all. Or maybe the whole world would blink away, the mind-bogglingly unexpected opportunity to live again but an illusion or joke, yanked away at the last moment by a child universe laughing Made You Look!

But when Axel hears the front door slam, and hears the clomp-clomp-clomp of I'm-not-really-awake-yet Roxas striding across hardwood floors; when his nose twitches at the scent of fresh, hot coffee from the shop down the street (Roxas! Goes outside *first thing in the morning*! Walks a block down and a block back *at 7am*! To bring him a latte with extra whipped cream! *In bed*! For fuck's sake, if that isn't love, he doesn't know what is.); when he feels a solid, warm weight dip the mattress and settle heavy-in-a-good-way straddled across his hips, and feels the solid, warm press of demanding, tempting lips against his own; when he tastes traces of sweet-bitter from Roxas' energy drink-du-jour teased in slick slides against his tongue; when there are things such as these, Axel can't help but open his eyes.

For each time he does and sees Roxas--tousled blond hair sticking bedhead-straight up on one side yet again, one eyebrow arched as he pulls back to look down at Axel, expression scowling-pouting-grumpy yet with the faint beginnings of a smirk quirking up the corners of his lips, and sunlit-sky blue eyes glinting with sparks of challenge, dare, and *life*--each time, it makes opening his eyes so very worthwhile.

So maybe there's still shadow-hurts lurking around that make him not like opening his eyes in the morning. But as Axel feels his sleep-fuzzy smile sharpen into his ever-present wicked grin, he knows he'll gladly do so every day. For Roxas, he'll risk the real-yet-not things he secretly fears he might see; the sight of his friend, his soulmate, his lover, his *everything* is one Axel wouldn't miss for all the money (munny?) in this, or any, world.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-09-25 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] semecucumber.livejournal.com
;;;o;;;

Ok it made me cry but Im hormonal and it was good tears of fluff and happy ans what-if-WAAAANT

*poingas on*

*poingpoingpoing*

(no subject)

Date: 2006-09-26 02:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whitereflection.livejournal.com
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ^___^

(no subject)

Date: 2007-04-02 06:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ciceqi.livejournal.com
Oh, hell yes. *hearts* Axel should be given exclamation points all the time, cos that just cracked me up beyond belief and made me make gooney eyes at the screen at the same time. *luffs* Axel so deserves a Roxas in his life....

(no subject)

Date: 2007-04-02 09:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whitereflection.livejournal.com
Ahahaha, ohman. Dude. You should have heard me squeak this morning when I checked mail. I really, really hope you didn't feel obligated to leave any sort of comments, because I really wasn't fishing for them, honest! ^^; Really did just want to show to someone who I know shares a love of the characters or concept (I always say any sort of creative work should be done for ourselves, not for anyone else, but yeah, then I always hope that my friendslist might actually care it exists. Even though I totally understand and respect passing over things that they're just not into or interested in. ^^;)

But! Tangent and babbling aside, thank you ♥--I appreciate it extremely much. Was very much one of the two reasons I've spent so much of today with the stupid smile and giddy glee and barely retraining myself from dancing about like a dork thing going on. Like I was saying in the Long Email of Doom, attention, yes we are *all* suckers for it. I need no drugs, really need no alcohol beyond the occasional weird stuff I try--I honestly can get high-drunk off attention and shared squee. Seriously.

Anyway ♥♥ Ain't enough of those to express it all.

(Also! That icon? Oh. My. *SPARKLES* Animated, Axle, and OHHH that scene. I keep staring at it and...yeah, none of mine are that cool. XD; )

(no subject)

Date: 2007-04-02 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ciceqi.livejournal.com
*grins* Speaking of tangents and icons, here's two versions of the same animation...one's 70K and prettier, and the other might juuuuust squeak in under the icon limit for LJ. If you want to do something with them, that is. Or you could just, y'know, look at the pretty one. Like I have been. *facepalm*

Er, I'm assuming that you have an animation program that is...if not, I can send you one?

http://pics.livejournal.com/ciceqi/pic/00039f5h
http://pics.livejournal.com/ciceqi/pic/00038we9

And no, I didn't feel obligated, heh...one thing you can count on with me is that I really don't do things I don't want to do, if only cos I'm horribly self-absorbed that way. *sparkles* And I live on shared squee! Don't worry, I really enjoyed reading these!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-04-02 11:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whitereflection.livejournal.com
Actually, I don't have an animation program. D: But I've got a Mac, so not sure if what you've got is dual platform. Really I should just go find myself one, I've pondered it for some time now (along with a real graphics program that would do text well, and not jagged like whatever freeware I'm using)--but it gets procrastinated and well, yeah. >_>;;

But I am so saving those anyway <3333 Both, yeah, because they make me do the sparkle thing. Thank you :D :D Might just toss up the one that fits LJ just as is. Like I need more icons, had to weed down from max again last night XD /fails (Speaking of fails, since when do I spell Axel as Axle...? D: )

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 07:02 pm (UTC)
ext_114030: i'll chase you. to the sun and the moon and back again. i won't stop. (Default)
From: [identity profile] roterhimmel.livejournal.com
Aw, this was lovely! Made me ache for Axel all over again D:

That guy's just too damn EVERYTHING for his own good...

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