complexity

Waiting for The Meeting at 2:30. Curious what the report will finally say. Think everyone's feeling restlessness and anxiety about it.

Strange news from the vet. Last weekend Missy and Tink cats were taken in for shots and had some senior wellness bloodwork done. Missy's ok, but Tink's showing crystals in the urine, so they want to switch her diet to something that adjusts pH and thus dissolves crystals. This will be then a third food fed to these beasts, and will mean she'll have to be fed in yet another separate area (oh that's going to go over *SO* well.) Seriously...Bebop--can Modified (kidney), Missy--dry light/hairball, Crystal--can Modified and dry light/hairball, and now Tink--dry pH. Jeezus. Also they want her brought in for an X-ray to see if there's also kidney stones, as the crystals are precursors to that. Don't think there will be, but they want to make sure.

And the more worrisome bit. Tink also's showed up positive for heartworm exposure. Surprised by that since they're all indoor always, but the vet said it only takes one mosquito with the parasite. Don't yet know if she's just exposed or if it's a full-blown infection. If we're lucky it's just one and it goes away. They're going to do another bloodtest to see if there's active antigen--positive would mean infection. If that's negative then six months they'd want another test; if the exposure's still positive then, it'd also mean continuing infection. But I'm hoping we're lucky, that the antigen's negative and that the test in six month's negative, that it's just some freak exposure. Because if she shows antigen pos now or exposure/antigen pos in six months...they can't treat heartworm in cats. Dogs can be treated, but cats can't.

So yeah, trying not to jump ahead or get worried/upset yet. Not exactly working, but am trying (actually tbh I'm failing utterly--v. down and worried as heck). She's just my favorite, you know? And the second youngest of the four cats. Four cats, three long-term/chronic medical conditions, multiple special diets, multiple treatments and pills. This is...insane. I know the more pets you have, the more likely you'll have medical things to deal with--but this seems higher than statistically average, honestly. I know people with 5, 7, more pets, who don't have anything beyond basic care. I suppose that's just the way it is though.

gravity

So the R2 consulting report. Pretty much said what the Dean wanted it to say I think and they're pretty much taking any 'suggestion' made and adopting it in some form.

Our department is being absorbed by Library Operations. At least the chair of that is a very, very decent person. I...get a new supervisor. The guy heading up the former acquisitions area. So...not very happy. But at least I hear he's competent, a hard worker, and is computer savvy. But he's also the guy in Office Space yelling about having people skills. And he's very rigid, structured, and inflexible many times. I hope I don't have to move my cubicle--one of the reasons I'm changing bosses is to be a bridge between the cataloging and aquisitions areas to bring us together as one group.

So am now the FastCat copy cataloger of Order & Receiving (what was formerly cataloging is now Access & Metadata). This means I'll basically be the only person dealing with incoming shelf-ready and other book materials. What was being done by about 3 other people before, tbh. Will have to learn the acquisitions Millenium modules, and whatever the gal is doing now for importing orders into the system. Also will have to learn Anj's work with creating/maintaining macros, and what she was doing with create lists for the shelf ready shipments. Need to learn to be much faster to keep ahead of it all.

Not sure what all everything entails--major reorganization of the technical services areas (not long after that beginning of year reorg...). But they're stopping periodical checkins and binding entirely, just labelling 'em and slapping them on the shelves (foreboding of doom yes, but that'll be Public Services having to deal with irate patrons not being able to find crap). My former supervisor will do original cateloging (theses?) and nonbook items...but not sure if she's also doing other tasks that Anj used to as Anj is now Project Manager (yeah, like..woah. Hi here have a totally unrelated-to-your-job position. She'll do well, but she's freaked. Nice to get a job you didn't apply for eh.) All materials will come through the shelf ready process now, everything. If only they'd start getting it right.

But filled with anxieties on many levels. About learning macros, as Anj did so well with them and I don't understand how to code them. About being able to do so much more, and basically being *the* person responsible. About dealing with my new supervisor. About wishing I was part of Access & Metadata, because what they're going to be working on is to me v. interesting and important for the future of the library. About how they are absolutely forcing us to accept lower accuracy and higher errors as the norm--can't fight it anymore. Tempting to call in tomorrow. Don't want to go in at all, want to hide out--but so many people to talk with about starting the transition, while tying up loose ends and projects from before. While trying to not dwell on that clawing-from-the-inside feeling of utter panic.

***

And came home just needing so so so damned badly to destress. And our raid was an utter failure, spent the entire evening wiping on a boss that's like farmable to us usually. Grocery store I hate but he goes to automatically has bad freezers again, so the desperately needed ice cream pint was totally ruined, melted and refrozen looks like multiple times. Can get a refund, but doesn't exactly help tonight. And had to play music at painful volumes to drown out the sound of him screaming at pvp stuff on his computer--EXACTLY what I needed to try to decompress from the day, right? Yeah. Great.

One of those times of needing a long-holding-hug, but none of the people I want it from being close. Eff distance, really.

...Porcupine Tree's Collapse the Light Into Earth...I can stay up for that. Stuff's finally catching up with me though...am tired like don't-wanna-wake-up ded.

Really need that holding-leaning sorta thing.