My lesson for today

I really need to learn this: An umbrella is not just a decorative accent for the inside of a closet. It is actually a useful device one takes *outside*, especially when one is walking for a half hour. Not only would it protect one from that light, occasional sprinkle, but it does wonders against the real rains that start up halfway through said walk. And it's also good for those times when it starts raining harder--in a taunting, karmic sort of way--when one is a couple blocks from home; not to mention those times where nature says "Ha on you. Loser." and starts pouring a block from home.

Maybe getting soaked-drenched will teach me, ne? Of course, it wasn't raining on my drive into work. And it probably won't on my way to/from class since I actually have said umbrella. *rolls eyes* Karma, karma.

Dot's Poetry Corner

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If I'm ahead on my Japanese homework, why do I feel so behind? I don't get it. I so need to go over chap.1 more, so I can get faster at it, because what I know, I'm slow at writing/reading/saying. Damn, I'm always so slow in everything, but I just don't want to be slow in this. And that stupid pair of songs she keeps having to sing--I need to practice those so I'm just stumbling over the melody and not both the melody *and* reading the words. And now we're starting into chap.2, and I am *not* prepared for it. I haven't read through it at all, except what we've gone over in class. I feel like there's all this information, and I'm a half step out of sync in catching it.

I need study time. Desperately need study time. But there are things I've been neglecting. *People* I've been neglecting. I even more desperately, desperately need RP and online-hangout time. And half, more than half of my weekend is eaten up already with obligations, and I guess there just isn't going to be any fun stuff this weekend, and... Damn, I just don't understand how people do it. How do they work, and participate in so much, and *do* so much? And I don't even want to think about how I'm going to fit in anime watching, which I want to do, but I guess isn't as high a priority as the rest. The house has already gone to hell, and it's just going to get worse. I'm appalled and disgusted at it. But...fuck if I can worry about things like vacuuming with this other stuff gnawing at me. Why is it everyone else handles stuff like this no problem, and I'm losing control of it so badly?

Found out our student assistant did get that other job, so we lose over half his hours. 30 hours a week we were doing ok, him at 20 hours a week we were barely getting by. But now he'll be at 8...damn. Have to hire another student for the department (at least we *can* hire another student--if this were a staff member we'd be screwed). I *hate* the hiring process. I detest it. God, I don't even want to think about interviewing and the paperwork and training... *head thunks on desk, cries*

Gads, I'm just incompetent and inept at handling life. I swear.

(Oh, and that stupid blood drive yesterday--I made an appointment, left work a little early, went through hell in traffic to get to the blood mobile site...only to find they were 3 hours behind on their appointments. Rrgh. >< Fine, I'll reschedule the appt. It's important. I'm sure I can fit it in...somewhere. Maybe next weekend. But criminy.)