rock on

[whitereflection]

This is how my flist roooooocks:

spnland Inanimately writing challenge--

http://community.livejournal.com/infatuated_ink/34533.html
cherie_morte firstplace and most creative winning entries

http://keerawa.livejournal.com/103206.html
keerawa third place entry (This one should have been second, imo)


spnland Spnland Writing header challenge--

http://i781.photobucket.com/albums/yy97/spnland_art/writing%20comm%20header/13.jpg
seisei_ftw's winner for most creative (which I still feel--as I voted--that it shoulda been first place, too ^^ ) Omfg, cutest thing EVER. Who is so happy that KatKat decided to join spnland? :D Who is so happy? Meeeeeee \o/




(Spoilers for 5.16: Dark Side of the Moon)


I am a useless object.

I am nothing but a lump of cold, hard metal, shaped into the form of a symbol. Many years ago, Robert Singer told a young Samuel Winchester that I was special. Some that saw me in the years following theorized that I was something that would protect the one wearing me. More recently, the angel Castiel told Dean Winchester when requesting to borrow me that I could be used to find God.

But in truth, I cannot do any of those things. I am not capable of any sort of special power. I am just a thing. A bauble of brass on a cord.

The only time I was ever more, was when I was a gift, from Samuel to Dean. Though originally intended for their father, when I was instead given to Dean, I was filled with the love of one brother for another, and then and for every minute of every day following I was filled with the love of that brother for his younger sibling in return.

I became something more. From then on, I was more than an object: I gained meaning. I was no longer useless. And every day that I was away from Dean, I craved to be back around his neck once more, back to where I had meaning and was not just some thing. I wanted to go home.

Now, God does not want to be found. He has told these wayward sons, "Back off." And so, even if I could have been used to find Him, I am no longer useful to Castiel.

I was given back to Dean. I thought, "At last, I am home." But he did not want me any more. He let me go, let me fall from his hand into the trash. I no longer held meaning for him. I no longer had worth to him. I became just a thing.

When Samuel retrieved me from the trash can, carefully looped my cord, and secreted me away in his pocket, it did not bring me joy. Because it did not give me back my meaning. Hidden here, I have no worth, no use, no purpose. All I can be here is a symbol of loss and hurt.

I want to be a gift again. I want to be filled with that love, be given that meaning.

I am a useless object. And I want to go home. Please.



Was surprised to get 2nd with it. I'd been actually feeling of late that maybe I wasn't doing Team Hell a lot of good, and should I rethink participating, but this was a nice little mental boost that I'm doing a little good for the group at least. ♥ There is a game going on that I'm failing at, though D: Fallen phrases, why do you befuddle me so?

Comments

[cherie-morte.livejournal.com]

<3_<3 You're cuuuttee.

Amulleettt. *woe*

Oh man. I should do those fallen phrases but right now I am way way too dead. *weeps*

And see! I told you! Team Hell is lucky to have you! :D

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

Bah, I am not cute. I am the anti-cute! >:E

The fallen phrases are a pain in the butt. They're bad enough on a normal day, but trying them when a person is sick? That would suck. >_< They're brain strain.

Haha, they were lucky to have me until the game where flannel shirts were -100 points and guess what I chose looooOOOOOoooool. Then they were not so lucky. :p

[cherie-morte.livejournal.com]

LOL. I chose flannel shirts, too.

SINCE WHEN CAN YOU GO WRONG IN FLANNEL?

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

I KNOW D: D: D: WHAT IS THIS. And my other choice would have been the Impala, which would have been -25? WHAAAAAAAAT? The Impala would be quite miffed to know she was worth negative points. :p

[seisei-ftw.livejournal.com]

Fallen phrases make me cry a little on this inside :< Kind of like the sudoku but worse (or not, I had sudoku dreams after that hell D: Teaches me to not do sudoku for the first time this way! I'll be so shamefaced if I did it wrong XD)

Also: Necklace ;-; Click your heels together, little buddy.

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

I did not even try the sudoku. D: I don't even know hooooow to sudoku. You're braver than I am trying 'em for the first time that way. XD But hey, even if you do 'em right, at least you tried, as compared to slacktards like me. :p

*squooshugs*

[kilynn16.livejournal.com]

Your entry made me so sad, honey. But a good, hurt-y sad, you know? I've never wanted to give an amulet a hug before, but I do now!

Congrats on the win! You definitely deserved it. :D

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

Awww, well thank you ♥ *hugs*