draft poem

[whitereflection]

Eh, still not sure about this one. Lacks. Maybe some months later I'll chew on it again. (Also, feeling odd. Just some allergy attack? Some at work have had colds, am hoping it's not the start of something like that. Though this doesn't feel like the usual allergy thing.)



Extinguish

Yesterday I was an ember
glowing low and dim
waiting to be fanned
into life
Tomorrow I'll be ash
fading cold and grey
scattering like snow
in the wind
Today
you are my spark
Today
pull me from chill shadows
and draw from me my light
Stand close
and share my heat
Dance with me
a leaping swaying fire
A kiss of woodsmoke
The taste of inferno licked
from my flickering skin
Cradle in your hands
my flame
Hold me up to the stars
to burn like a sun
in the midnight sky
And when you're
done with me
Cup your palms around me
seal me away
in suffocating dark
until I fade and cool
and eventually
go out
Because today
Today
you are my spark

Comments

[ciceqi.livejournal.com]

Dude, I can never think of anything meaningful to say about poetry--if it hits something in me, the best I can ever do is write to it; I have an easier time of waxing poetic about music! Music! *flails* But I will say I liked this, especially the bit at the end, "And when you're done with me" and all...yeah. *sadsighs*

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

Gah, I know I did a blanket comment back for all three on the other one, but I can't help saying something here either. There's only one time anyone I know has ever said something about poetry I've done (original/non-fan type, I mean)--it's just...too nebulous, too hard to find things to say, or heck, it's just not done right to begin with.

So that you did, massive brownie points for you. Really means a lot, since that's what I prefer doing writingwise, actually, and what I feel like I put more of myself into.

Anyway. ^^; This morning I swear I was about ready to give ya my heart and soul I was in such a state of sparkle, though I suppose that's over the top. Perhaps a spleen, maybe? XD;;