Huh.

[whitereflection]

Christ, show, what you do to me. I am up I am down I am up I am down. Oy. Yes, I love you for it.

Things:

*Okay, the funny. Fuck, I laughed so hard at the Hepexia commercial. Seriously, tears laughing. (And thus "It's a Brand New Day" ie the Valtrex song by Straight Outta Junior High http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcqWnojXuEk) is now a Sam song for me :p The opening credits, holy fucking beans, the opening credits. I *MUST* get a screenshot of Dean & Sam on the multi-rider bicycle, and will use it as my desktop wallpaper. Ahh, and the live studio audience, so perfect. Also, Sam as Impala!KITT? BEST FUCKING THING IN THE UNIVERSE. Gave me a serious case of gleesquee.

*The fucking sexy. SLOW MOTION SUNGLASSES IN THOSE SUITS. I don't watch CSI: Miami, but ffffff the Horatio Caine look is hot on them omfg. They must have had such fun with the TV bits.

*The fanboy. Deeeeeeeeeean X3 Dean's got a crush for Dr. Sexyyyyyyyyyyyy~ So utterly amused. So cute. X3

*The wtftrickster. Woah, okay so that surprised me. The big reveal that he's been not just an angel, but an archangel, THE archangel Gabriel all along...trippy. I'm still trying to bend my mind around it a bit. But I am glad he wasn't really a trickster because yeah I rather didn't want him dead >_>; I like him even if I shouldn't. Though when it seemed like Sam *had* killed him I was \o/ because it was a neat feeling of Sam getting even for Mystery Spot. (Speaking of which, Dean getting shot during Dr. Sexy MD freaked me the SHIT out because holy fuck I thought they were gonna pull MS all over again, and I think that woulda been the last of Sam, ya know? But...I am intrigued with the way it ended what the consequences of this could be, because I'm *SURE* Gabriel will be back--and I'd like to see what impact Dean's words had on him. Because I *feel* for him--but yeah, someone needs to stand up to his family and not just run away.

*Parallels. Hum. Lots of interesting parallels in this. The very direct and overt of Dean and Sam basically replaying out Michael and Lucifer, and the parallels that I in my fumbling and inexpert way see between Sam and Gabriel as two who both fled from their families and are learning/need to learn to stand up to their families.

*Um. So I um, sort of want to see Gabriel/Castiel. Or vice versa. I would not be picky on this. Not porn, I mean, or maybe yeah, but as part of something relationshippy because something about it intrigues me I DON'T KNOW WHY AUGH. (Oh, btw, trickster doesn't like pretty boy angels aaaahahahahaha. *cough* ♥)

*And man. Show is really laying it on about the whole struggle of predestiny vs. free will. And yeah, I find it interesting to see how it's all playing out. Though at first TricksterGabriel was sounding super Zachariah-ish, and I was sort of thinking this was The End all over again. But I am still finding it all neat, the interplay of 'destined to be like this, follow destiny through to the end' (which makes me ponder the concept of being created to play out a destiny versus being chosen for a destiny because you fit certain roles) with their struggle to say hell with that and find their own path.

*Sam's facial expressions. Kill me. The pained and struggling and fffffffff. God, his eyes. And I guess I can file this one under here: the whole 'would mom and dad be alive if Sam hadn't been born' is so FUCKOUCH. Makes me wonder--when Dean 'played the role' and thus could speak Japanese...did that mean he'd realized what question had been asked, and what is the impact of his yes question in either case (and also, what does Gabriel's reaction that the yes answer was right mean about the angels. I dunno, this just gives me more odd feelings of how angels are portrayed in the show--they still feel to me so Greek pantheon, and still just make me confused about how are they any better than nondivine humans other than just having powers.) But I dunno...it still just makes me feel weird to have the whole "Hi, all the beings of heaven hate you and think you suck" thing going, because that just pushes odd buttons of belief in such a thing as divine love. BUT. This is a tangent, and I shouldn't go there because even if someone reads all this I'll probably offend someone somewhere about it. It just...leaves me unsettled and uncomfortable, is all.

*Ugh, this pessimism mixed with clinging to hope is messin' with me. I need some good Sam/Dean or Sam'n'Dean tags or codas or just whatever to feel better.

*Next ep preview: Good golly, they seriously *are* writing the episodes from fanfiction, aren't they? Thought the characters that look to show up again make me full of glee. I imagine this will amuse the beans out of me and perhaps make me wince, but mostly glee because I can't help being tickled by meta.



And on an unrelated note, so discouraged and down about writing things, I'm sort of regretting this whole 'nov writing' thing. I sort of want to ditch it until I forget how bad I am at it and it feels fun to try again. Weird sort of comment, too, on the comment fic--I shouldn't have posted that to the supernaturalfic community. I really regret that I did. Too many good people out there for me to put out stuff that's so trite. I should've just to the samdean_otp one, because it's a bit safer there. They're nicer, and just tend to be silent if it's not good.