The truth is...
May. 5th, 2008 08:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
whitereflectionIron Man is truly a damned fine movie. Also, want the new Indiana Jones movie like now, please.
Feeling massively overwhelmed about many things, monster amounts of anxiety. Too many little to-do things. Work--strat plan assignment from the dean, 10 of the Spanish juv books for MC, process/cat next shipment, juv award subject headings, create list/rev files, lost books file, **gdi work on MyMapp stuff for eval**, more procedures to the wiki? Home--start calling people about windows replacement, new stove and new mattress/box springs?, spring ac check/finally schedule house vent cleaning?, get rid of old chair and microwave, crystal/bebop to vet for yearly, oil change (when do I work this in??). Misc--gift for Shannon grad, gift for Ashley/Jeremy wedding (still have nothing to wear for this, augh), omg Mother's Day x2 (crap this is the 11th), reserve motel in KC for the 17th, talk to Mom about watching cats 17th.
I don't know...I'm mulling over giving up the Springkink prompts. I want to do them, but the ideas won't gel, I have absolutely no spark for writing at the moment, and I feel so much more ignorant about the series than I expected (not having finished the manga yet doesn't help). Just feeling panicked and unable to do anything--every time I think about trying to sit down and do it, all I can think about is all this RL stuff I'm not getting done. Anxiety-locked up sort of thing. Hoping that if I do have to let these go that they or something similar would be available at a later time--and I don't lose the ability to claim later. It felt like a good idea at the time.
Strange dream last night. First dream I can remember having in a very long time. Was one of the few I have that was coherent and not just bizarre fragments. Can't recall exactly what, but was very real world, and left me feeling very depressed and bleak. Get the feeling I was giving in to something I was being pressured about, and it all felt really hopeless. Hell of a way to wake up.
[Ed: Oh yes. How could I have forgotten the seventeen--yes, 17--Reference training sessions I'm supposed to sign up for during May/June, one hour each.]
Feeling massively overwhelmed about many things, monster amounts of anxiety. Too many little to-do things. Work--strat plan assignment from the dean, 10 of the Spanish juv books for MC, process/cat next shipment, juv award subject headings, create list/rev files, lost books file, **gdi work on MyMapp stuff for eval**, more procedures to the wiki? Home--start calling people about windows replacement, new stove and new mattress/box springs?, spring ac check/finally schedule house vent cleaning?, get rid of old chair and microwave, crystal/bebop to vet for yearly, oil change (when do I work this in??). Misc--gift for Shannon grad, gift for Ashley/Jeremy wedding (still have nothing to wear for this, augh), omg Mother's Day x2 (crap this is the 11th), reserve motel in KC for the 17th, talk to Mom about watching cats 17th.
I don't know...I'm mulling over giving up the Springkink prompts. I want to do them, but the ideas won't gel, I have absolutely no spark for writing at the moment, and I feel so much more ignorant about the series than I expected (not having finished the manga yet doesn't help). Just feeling panicked and unable to do anything--every time I think about trying to sit down and do it, all I can think about is all this RL stuff I'm not getting done. Anxiety-locked up sort of thing. Hoping that if I do have to let these go that they or something similar would be available at a later time--and I don't lose the ability to claim later. It felt like a good idea at the time.
Strange dream last night. First dream I can remember having in a very long time. Was one of the few I have that was coherent and not just bizarre fragments. Can't recall exactly what, but was very real world, and left me feeling very depressed and bleak. Get the feeling I was giving in to something I was being pressured about, and it all felt really hopeless. Hell of a way to wake up.
[Ed: Oh yes. How could I have forgotten the seventeen--yes, 17--Reference training sessions I'm supposed to sign up for during May/June, one hour each.]
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-05 07:35 pm (UTC)Jay and I liked Iron Man, too. Did you stay for the scene after the credits?
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-06 01:52 am (UTC)Aw, I am sorry you are having anxiety. I know what you mean about the writing - as soon as November and NaNoWriMo started last year, a million and one things happened and I was all "Aaarghhh!!!!"
Just don't let it get to you. My house looked like shite this weekend, but I lounged around, watching anime and napping in a big ol' F-U to maturity. LOL!
Iron Man is full of win! Robert Downey Jr.!!!! *harts*
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-06 01:07 pm (UTC)We did laugh though at all the people who had left--I think at least half the theater I was in emptied out (and it'd been a good crowd too, for a first-thing Sunday morning show).
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-06 01:10 pm (UTC)*bunches of hugs back* And thanks. Trying to look at things more in a 'bit at a time' way to see if that helps. So going to be glad when the next couple weeks chills a bit, though. ^^;