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whitereflectionYet another day in the upper 90s. Joy. I really wish I hadn't let us get settled in Omaha--I really hate the sort of extreme weather we get. I should've made more of an effort to move somewhere with a more moderate climate. I'd really love to shut of the air and just open the windows at home, but that's simply not possible.
Idiot me only got 4 hours of sleep last night--I just kept finding things to do, tho, so it was hard to make myself go to bed. Wish I woulda made sometime to hang out on AIM, tho. Feh. But so it's my own stupid fault I'm feeling like a zombie. Doesn't help tho, that my allergies are totally kicking my ass (I almost wish it were a bit worse, tho, so I could claim a head cold and go home). Being outside Saturday with all that happy grass and tree pollen and citronella/bugspray, then spending all of Sunday afternoon/evening in extreme dust and cathair (helping Katherine start cleaning her apt) has overloaded my system I guess.
Yet another reminder why we can't leave our lunches out on the counter in the am before going to work: Bebop fished a ziploc bagged sandwich out of James' lunch sack, and dragged it downstairs to the basement before I discovered him and relieved him of his loot. And gave him a dose of the squirt gun. >_< He's got a real bad food obsession, naturally (no surprise with his background)--we're having to be constantly on guard and constantly train him out of those sort of habits. He's a absolute darling, but is probably the most hight-maintenance animal I've ever had.
Other than that...the usual. Feeling edgy, not looking forward to the week (except for being off July 4), down on myself about some stuff. Been realizing that my mood of late is stemming from a real severe craving for attention--not like I'm not *getting* attention from those I are about. I'm just...craving more. Almost like I'm wanting someone to chase me down and fawn over me--and that is such a *pathetic*, self-centered, ego-filled way to feel that I'm *extremely* disgusted and angry with myself. I don't know what the hell is up with me. It's just pathetic. Been delivering a lot of mental slaps upside the head to snap myself out of it--been trying to find ways to focus on/help others too, to distract myself from doing 'pay attention to me!' behaviors. But then it just hit me that this journal is in essence one giant 'pay attention to me' thing, and that's suddenly very discouraging. Shzzit, I hadn't thought of it like that...I've got to think about this.
Filing with the 'plotbunnies I'll never develop': A Subaru songfic to Metallica's Unforgiven. Maybe a Seishirou companion piece to Unforgiven II? Wish I had the Black album and S&M with me.
Finally pulled 176 mp3s off the CD-ROM Kea lent me--it took hours to pull for iTunes to convert the files and add them to my music library. *flails* But now I've got almost 5 gig total of mp3s, and that's fskcing scary. I think I need to weed out the library, get rid of stuff I don't really like.
Goddamn, Netscape 6.2 is sucking my work computer's pathetic resources. I'm typing, and having to pause to watch my text actually appear on the screen. Jeezus.
Oh...one bright spot for yesterday evening--watched Digicharat 1-16 and I am so fscking hooked. I *LOVE* that show, and I would sell my soul (what's left of it) for more. I don't think I'll be able to put together a Konzen (from Saiyuki Gaiden) costume for AI, but I'm thinking a Mr. Long-Hair (*snicker*) costume would be damned easy. I've actually got the exact right hair for him, too. I've already spotted where to buy a Puchiko UFO catcher to carry. *smirks*
Hmf. Should go work. Weeeeeeeeee..
Idiot me only got 4 hours of sleep last night--I just kept finding things to do, tho, so it was hard to make myself go to bed. Wish I woulda made sometime to hang out on AIM, tho. Feh. But so it's my own stupid fault I'm feeling like a zombie. Doesn't help tho, that my allergies are totally kicking my ass (I almost wish it were a bit worse, tho, so I could claim a head cold and go home). Being outside Saturday with all that happy grass and tree pollen and citronella/bugspray, then spending all of Sunday afternoon/evening in extreme dust and cathair (helping Katherine start cleaning her apt) has overloaded my system I guess.
Yet another reminder why we can't leave our lunches out on the counter in the am before going to work: Bebop fished a ziploc bagged sandwich out of James' lunch sack, and dragged it downstairs to the basement before I discovered him and relieved him of his loot. And gave him a dose of the squirt gun. >_< He's got a real bad food obsession, naturally (no surprise with his background)--we're having to be constantly on guard and constantly train him out of those sort of habits. He's a absolute darling, but is probably the most hight-maintenance animal I've ever had.
Other than that...the usual. Feeling edgy, not looking forward to the week (except for being off July 4), down on myself about some stuff. Been realizing that my mood of late is stemming from a real severe craving for attention--not like I'm not *getting* attention from those I are about. I'm just...craving more. Almost like I'm wanting someone to chase me down and fawn over me--and that is such a *pathetic*, self-centered, ego-filled way to feel that I'm *extremely* disgusted and angry with myself. I don't know what the hell is up with me. It's just pathetic. Been delivering a lot of mental slaps upside the head to snap myself out of it--been trying to find ways to focus on/help others too, to distract myself from doing 'pay attention to me!' behaviors. But then it just hit me that this journal is in essence one giant 'pay attention to me' thing, and that's suddenly very discouraging. Shzzit, I hadn't thought of it like that...I've got to think about this.
Filing with the 'plotbunnies I'll never develop': A Subaru songfic to Metallica's Unforgiven. Maybe a Seishirou companion piece to Unforgiven II? Wish I had the Black album and S&M with me.
Finally pulled 176 mp3s off the CD-ROM Kea lent me--it took hours to pull for iTunes to convert the files and add them to my music library. *flails* But now I've got almost 5 gig total of mp3s, and that's fskcing scary. I think I need to weed out the library, get rid of stuff I don't really like.
Goddamn, Netscape 6.2 is sucking my work computer's pathetic resources. I'm typing, and having to pause to watch my text actually appear on the screen. Jeezus.
Oh...one bright spot for yesterday evening--watched Digicharat 1-16 and I am so fscking hooked. I *LOVE* that show, and I would sell my soul (what's left of it) for more. I don't think I'll be able to put together a Konzen (from Saiyuki Gaiden) costume for AI, but I'm thinking a Mr. Long-Hair (*snicker*) costume would be damned easy. I've actually got the exact right hair for him, too. I've already spotted where to buy a Puchiko UFO catcher to carry. *smirks*
Hmf. Should go work. Weeeeeeeeee..
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(no subject)
Date: 2002-07-01 09:56 am (UTC)just because Virginia has a big old 'H' over it, doesn't mean we're sunny. a high grey-white blanket of clouds hovers overtop us, trapping in the heat and humidity, blinding us with diffused sunlight. you could say, hey, it's not raining, but i'd say that i'd rather prefer it... for these are the In-Betweens kind of days i dislike the most.
days like this nudge me uncomfortably into thinking of my own life's monotonies and ruts.
i learned pretty quickly that livejournal is NOT the egotistical ranting place i had thought; livejournal IS a forum for our dearest and closest sisters and brothers to touch upon the Truths of Life with us, in support and in love.
if you stopped posting your soul... then, how would be ever know the brilliant, beautiful, and intricately-woven person you are?
douzo... physical distance may separate us, but our words do not.
*snuggles up close*
.sj.
Re:
Date: 2002-07-03 06:19 am (UTC)Your comment at the end there reminds me of my email .sig here:
Stronger, even, than the bond
that comes from having the same mother
are the bonds we make
by sharing words.
--Sakala-niti-sammatamu
*snuggles extra* I owe you so much for always being so very *there* for me. :)