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[whitereflection]

Ok, wanna hear some really stupid about-*nothing*-that-really-matters whining? Haha, no one can say no, so right. So it's yet another night where almost NO one shows up in game. Where's Mazz and Filly and Si and and and...at least Sars showed up, but then he logged. Sometimes people just seem to go fucking poof, like they're not there to hang with the us and play with 'us'...just play with one other person, and never like alt down with us small fry.

For no reasons or for stupid reasons, I'm feeling all abandoned and lonely, like really no one gives a shit about the all of us (I should just say me, I'm feeling all focused on me, yeah.). I know we're not 70, but I figured they'd at least hang out, or hell, like I said, alt some with those at lower lvls. I *know* people had alts on other servers in the 40s/50s, but we got to that point, and they never fucking transferred 'em. Least Sars does show up and say hi and help out. Too bad he had to go.

Just tired of feeling like no one wants to fucking let me hang out with and quest with 'em, except for the dude who screws me over at sharing mining nodes. Even Shae, seems like...never fucking wants to do groups. My longest friend there, my actual RL friend, and they're always going through zones when I'm not signed on (ie during the day, I'm *always* on in the evenings). Never asks me if I want to do stuff, I always have to chase after them and all but beg. I can never catch up that lvl-lvl and a half, and they never seem to wait to do anything with me. We start to do something, and they have to go. Will tell me they just wanna solo some stuff, then poof couple hours later they're in a group. I'm starting to think they don't want to quest with me, and I don't know why. I don't screw them over like mister mining hog, and if there's something wrong with the way I play they've never said. I do think I'm not great as a player, but I know I'm not horrid.

Loneliest, most tedious levelling up ever. Starting to feel like it's not going to change come Outlands. Wish I knew what the hell was going on, so I could know if it's something I've done/said or what, or if it's just some random reason. So much for fun.

And of course this is when I catch up on an old AkuRoku fic I used to read (Marigold) and the last part has them really fucking screwing each other over and it just *hurts* and now I just wanna like cry or some stupid shit, and hit things and curse at the world in general.

So, down as hell about virtual things. :) :) :) I *SO* win the loser prize.

Probably the no fucking sleep and too much coffee all week crash. But the game has really been bringing me down. Or rather the people in the game. There's just something wrong with that. Just I enjoy the fucking game. But I enjoyed it a lot more when I had people I was doing stuff *with*, and not feeling like they were always out of reach.

...Palace Brothers (Will Oldham), You Will Miss Me When I Burn...*Perfect*. http://cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/oldham-will/you-will-miss-me-when-i-burn-12502.html See? Except it kinda isn't right. Hurts anyway.