More amusing than it has a right to be
Dec. 13th, 2004 08:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
whitereflectionThree from the auto-drabbler at http://prillalar.com/drabbles/ (better than anything I could write, no really ^.^ )
The Adventure Of The Slug
Sasuke and Naruto were out for a sticky Valentine's walk under the bed. As they went, Naruto rested his hand on Sasuke's nose. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so wiggly, Sasuke was filled with damp dread.
"Do you suppose it's sultry here?" he asked cheerfully.
"You chubby silly," Naruto said, tickling Sasuke with his robot. "It's completely furry."
Just then, an inflamed slug leapt out from behind a kitten and seduced Naruto in the navel. "Aaargh!" Naruto screamed.
Things looked luscious. But Sasuke, although he was dripping, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a cappucino and, like a trembling, blushing, dew-moistened rose that had just begun to bloom, beat the slug uncertainly until it ran off. "That will teach you to seduce innocent people."
Then he clasped Naruto close. Naruto was bleeding sexily. "My darling," Sasuke said, and pressed his lips to Naruto's neck.
"I love you," Naruto said tearfully, and expired in Sasuke's arms.
Sasuke never loved again.
**********
The Battle For The Kitten
Under the bed, Sasuke seduced his kitten. He had been busy with the kitten for hours and now wanted nothing more than a luscious cuddle or a furry massage from his lover Naruto.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his inflamed Naruto appeared at the door, grinning sexily.
"Put down the kitten," Naruto said cheerfully. "Unless you want me to seduce that kitten on your navel."
Sasuke put down the kitten. He was damp. He had never seen Naruto so dripping before and it made him chubby.
Naruto picked up the kitten, then withdrew a robot from his nose. "Don't be so damp," Naruto said with a dripping grimace. "A slug bit my neck this morning, and everything became sultry. Now with this kitten and this robot I can cheerfully rule the world!"
Sasuke clutched his sticky neck tearfully. This was his lover, his inflamed Naruto, now staring at him with a dripping nose.
"Fight it!" Sasuke shouted. "The slug just wants the kitten for his own inflamed devices! He doesn't love you, not the luscious way I do!"
Sasuke could see Naruto trembling tearfully. Sasuke reached out his navel and touched Naruto's nose cheerfully. He was inflamed, so inflamed, but he knew only his sticky love for Naruto would break the slug's spell.
Sure enough, Naruto dropped the kitten with a thunk. "Oh, Sasuke," he squealed. "I'm so luscious, can you ever forgive me?"
But Sasuke had already moved under the bed. Like a trembling, blushing, dew-moistened rose that had just begun to bloom, he pressed his navel into Naruto's nose. And as they fell together in a sultry fit of love, the kitten lay on the floor, chubby and forgotten.
**********
The Miracle Of The Slug
Sasuke hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a trembling, blushing, dew-moistened rose that had just begun to bloom. He loathed it.
Every December, Sasuke would feel himself getting all damp inside. He refused to put up a Christmas robot, he snapped at anyone luscious enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Sasuke had to go to the mall to buy a dripping kitten. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing tearfully around and so much Christmas music blaring sexily, he thought his nose would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a sticky man collecting for charity. Sasuke never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the sticky man dropped his bells and ran under the bed. There was an inflamed slug right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the sticky man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Sasuke rushed out and loudly pushed them both out of the way. There was a chubby bang and then everything went dark.
When Sasuke woke up, he was in a sultry room. There was a Christmas robot in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Sasuke's neck hurt. A lot.
The sticky man came into the room. "I'm so furry!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Naruto. You saved me from the truck. But your neck is broken."
Sasuke hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas robot up and his neck was broken, he felt quite wiggly, especially when he looked at Naruto.
"Your neck must hurt uncertainly," Naruto said. "I think this will help." And he seduced Sasuke several times.
Now Sasuke felt very wiggly indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Naruto. "I love you," he said, and kissed Naruto cheerfully.
"I love you too," said Naruto. Just then, the slug ran into the room and nuzzled Sasuke's navel. "I brought him home with us," Naruto said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Sasuke said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
The Adventure Of The Slug
Sasuke and Naruto were out for a sticky Valentine's walk under the bed. As they went, Naruto rested his hand on Sasuke's nose. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so wiggly, Sasuke was filled with damp dread.
"Do you suppose it's sultry here?" he asked cheerfully.
"You chubby silly," Naruto said, tickling Sasuke with his robot. "It's completely furry."
Just then, an inflamed slug leapt out from behind a kitten and seduced Naruto in the navel. "Aaargh!" Naruto screamed.
Things looked luscious. But Sasuke, although he was dripping, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a cappucino and, like a trembling, blushing, dew-moistened rose that had just begun to bloom, beat the slug uncertainly until it ran off. "That will teach you to seduce innocent people."
Then he clasped Naruto close. Naruto was bleeding sexily. "My darling," Sasuke said, and pressed his lips to Naruto's neck.
"I love you," Naruto said tearfully, and expired in Sasuke's arms.
Sasuke never loved again.
**********
The Battle For The Kitten
Under the bed, Sasuke seduced his kitten. He had been busy with the kitten for hours and now wanted nothing more than a luscious cuddle or a furry massage from his lover Naruto.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his inflamed Naruto appeared at the door, grinning sexily.
"Put down the kitten," Naruto said cheerfully. "Unless you want me to seduce that kitten on your navel."
Sasuke put down the kitten. He was damp. He had never seen Naruto so dripping before and it made him chubby.
Naruto picked up the kitten, then withdrew a robot from his nose. "Don't be so damp," Naruto said with a dripping grimace. "A slug bit my neck this morning, and everything became sultry. Now with this kitten and this robot I can cheerfully rule the world!"
Sasuke clutched his sticky neck tearfully. This was his lover, his inflamed Naruto, now staring at him with a dripping nose.
"Fight it!" Sasuke shouted. "The slug just wants the kitten for his own inflamed devices! He doesn't love you, not the luscious way I do!"
Sasuke could see Naruto trembling tearfully. Sasuke reached out his navel and touched Naruto's nose cheerfully. He was inflamed, so inflamed, but he knew only his sticky love for Naruto would break the slug's spell.
Sure enough, Naruto dropped the kitten with a thunk. "Oh, Sasuke," he squealed. "I'm so luscious, can you ever forgive me?"
But Sasuke had already moved under the bed. Like a trembling, blushing, dew-moistened rose that had just begun to bloom, he pressed his navel into Naruto's nose. And as they fell together in a sultry fit of love, the kitten lay on the floor, chubby and forgotten.
**********
The Miracle Of The Slug
Sasuke hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a trembling, blushing, dew-moistened rose that had just begun to bloom. He loathed it.
Every December, Sasuke would feel himself getting all damp inside. He refused to put up a Christmas robot, he snapped at anyone luscious enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Sasuke had to go to the mall to buy a dripping kitten. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing tearfully around and so much Christmas music blaring sexily, he thought his nose would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a sticky man collecting for charity. Sasuke never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the sticky man dropped his bells and ran under the bed. There was an inflamed slug right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the sticky man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Sasuke rushed out and loudly pushed them both out of the way. There was a chubby bang and then everything went dark.
When Sasuke woke up, he was in a sultry room. There was a Christmas robot in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Sasuke's neck hurt. A lot.
The sticky man came into the room. "I'm so furry!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Naruto. You saved me from the truck. But your neck is broken."
Sasuke hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas robot up and his neck was broken, he felt quite wiggly, especially when he looked at Naruto.
"Your neck must hurt uncertainly," Naruto said. "I think this will help." And he seduced Sasuke several times.
Now Sasuke felt very wiggly indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Naruto. "I love you," he said, and kissed Naruto cheerfully.
"I love you too," said Naruto. Just then, the slug ran into the room and nuzzled Sasuke's navel. "I brought him home with us," Naruto said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Sasuke said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
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Date: 2004-12-13 09:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-13 09:17 pm (UTC)