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whitereflectionPardon me, but...god damn son of a fucking *bitch*. I am the god-stupidest *moron* that ever walked on two legs.
Got a speeding ticket on the way in. 52 in a 40 zone. But the stupid part? I did this RIGHT in FRONT of a motorcycle cop. Passed right fucking by him. Because I wasn't fucking paying attention like the god damned stupid idiot I am. Yeah, I shouldn't do things that are wrong, like speeding--but to do so *RIGHT* in front of someone, because I ain't paying shit for attention... God I am a fucking *loser*.
Seems I can do an 8-hr $75 traffic class, and not have to do the court appearance, pay the fine ($116.50), or have points put on my driving record (thus avoiding the insurance rate hike). So yeah, naturally that's what I'm going to do.
But it's the principle of the thing. Because I was a stupid loser moron. This was my first ticket ever. First. And they couldn't even give me a warning--no it was a citation straight off the bat. My Dad has gotten a bunch of warnings instead of tickets. But I suppose that's because he's got Purple Heart license plates, and law enforcement types love a vet, especially one that was wounded in action.
But...god*damn* it.
What's worst, is I'm going to have to tell James, and he's going to give me the god-fucking-biggest self righteous, smug "I told you so" anyone has ever heard. Fuck.
Am so furious and upset with myself right now. How...fucking...stupid.
And the reason I was rushing this time was that I spent extra time at home looking for my damned harmony ball pendant, the one that I got at the KC Renaissance Fair back in 1991. The one that I have worn almost every day since then. Because my goddamned cats (probably Bebop) have seen fit to steal it off the dresser and put it I don't know the fuck where. Stupid. God, so much of this day is stupid. Which sucks all the more because it's blasting away all the good I was feeling last night and this morning.
I don't want to be at work. I want to be home. No, not even that. I just want to be *away*.
Got a speeding ticket on the way in. 52 in a 40 zone. But the stupid part? I did this RIGHT in FRONT of a motorcycle cop. Passed right fucking by him. Because I wasn't fucking paying attention like the god damned stupid idiot I am. Yeah, I shouldn't do things that are wrong, like speeding--but to do so *RIGHT* in front of someone, because I ain't paying shit for attention... God I am a fucking *loser*.
Seems I can do an 8-hr $75 traffic class, and not have to do the court appearance, pay the fine ($116.50), or have points put on my driving record (thus avoiding the insurance rate hike). So yeah, naturally that's what I'm going to do.
But it's the principle of the thing. Because I was a stupid loser moron. This was my first ticket ever. First. And they couldn't even give me a warning--no it was a citation straight off the bat. My Dad has gotten a bunch of warnings instead of tickets. But I suppose that's because he's got Purple Heart license plates, and law enforcement types love a vet, especially one that was wounded in action.
But...god*damn* it.
What's worst, is I'm going to have to tell James, and he's going to give me the god-fucking-biggest self righteous, smug "I told you so" anyone has ever heard. Fuck.
Am so furious and upset with myself right now. How...fucking...stupid.
And the reason I was rushing this time was that I spent extra time at home looking for my damned harmony ball pendant, the one that I got at the KC Renaissance Fair back in 1991. The one that I have worn almost every day since then. Because my goddamned cats (probably Bebop) have seen fit to steal it off the dresser and put it I don't know the fuck where. Stupid. God, so much of this day is stupid. Which sucks all the more because it's blasting away all the good I was feeling last night and this morning.
I don't want to be at work. I want to be home. No, not even that. I just want to be *away*.