Musings before the caffeine finally hit

[whitereflection]

Feel so off today. Kind of disconnected-like. I know part of it's just lack of sleep, but have been feeling that way for a while now--like I'm trying and screwing up, like with each person I'm not doing or saying quite the right thing, and it's coming off all wrong. Maybe I'm trying too hard, and it's ending up forced, like when someone attempts a joke they shouldn't and it falls flat or when they act like they're cute and they're not. Or it's just a symptom of something I've been getting tripped up by--that I'm not just physically clumsy, but intellectually, mentally, emotionally, socially so as well. More often than not I'm bungling and tripping over myself. And coming off insincere, fake, unsympathetic, uncompassionate, and dimwitted.