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It is this sort of day:
Jun. 23rd, 2009 05:49 pm*On the way to work, there's a couple of cop cars with lights flashing and an SUV. I think maybe it's a car accident, but when I pass, I see that there's a dog lying in front of the SUV. I can't stop thinking about this, about the woman that must have been the driver (she was talking to the officers), about whether the dog's owners would be able to be contacted, and what they would go through when/if they find out.
*I thought everyone was shit on the phones yesterday, but it is no comparison to today. Today, the phones were utter hell. I had not one, but two screamers. One who insisted that my company called him multiple times in the middle of the night, and proceeded to ream me when I tried to tell him we only call between 8-5, and one who screamed that I was crazy and had an utter FREAKOUT that started because of my use of the term 'search engine'. Everyone else were utter assholes.
*I got a bonus in May, but it was crappy, because I was under quota for calls. I guess I should be happy to be getting any bonus, but all I can feel from this is that I am fail. Coupled with not as good QAs recently (yet still enough to get bonus), I feel that I am utter shit, and all I do is mess up. (The guy who sits next to me got 4x as much, and it doesn't make me feel any better to know he's been there 12 years).
*I am reminded that when someone I look up to doesn't like something I do, or rather dislikes it, I feel an odd mix of embarrassed, silly, foolish, and guilty. This happens all the time--I like something, I love being happy to enjoy it, but then someone talks about how they hate it, or talks down about the people that like x or y...and I feel like I'm bad somehow. If I were cool like them, I wouldn't like such stupid stuff, right? It's like this with fandoms, it's like this with music. I'm torn between why can't it be okay that I like what I like and you like what you like and why do people have to all be elitist about what others enjoy, and between some sort of fannish-shame oh I am sorry I'll do better next time. Why is it that when others like something, I'm the one to try it or think 'hey cool for you that you like that', but when I like something, I feel like I'm an apologist for Bad Taste.
*It's thunderstorming, and I have to go out to dinner with the folks and with the usual him. I'd rather stay in and read. God, how much I do not want to go in to work tomorrow.
*I thought everyone was shit on the phones yesterday, but it is no comparison to today. Today, the phones were utter hell. I had not one, but two screamers. One who insisted that my company called him multiple times in the middle of the night, and proceeded to ream me when I tried to tell him we only call between 8-5, and one who screamed that I was crazy and had an utter FREAKOUT that started because of my use of the term 'search engine'. Everyone else were utter assholes.
*I got a bonus in May, but it was crappy, because I was under quota for calls. I guess I should be happy to be getting any bonus, but all I can feel from this is that I am fail. Coupled with not as good QAs recently (yet still enough to get bonus), I feel that I am utter shit, and all I do is mess up. (The guy who sits next to me got 4x as much, and it doesn't make me feel any better to know he's been there 12 years).
*I am reminded that when someone I look up to doesn't like something I do, or rather dislikes it, I feel an odd mix of embarrassed, silly, foolish, and guilty. This happens all the time--I like something, I love being happy to enjoy it, but then someone talks about how they hate it, or talks down about the people that like x or y...and I feel like I'm bad somehow. If I were cool like them, I wouldn't like such stupid stuff, right? It's like this with fandoms, it's like this with music. I'm torn between why can't it be okay that I like what I like and you like what you like and why do people have to all be elitist about what others enjoy, and between some sort of fannish-shame oh I am sorry I'll do better next time. Why is it that when others like something, I'm the one to try it or think 'hey cool for you that you like that', but when I like something, I feel like I'm an apologist for Bad Taste.
*It's thunderstorming, and I have to go out to dinner with the folks and with the usual him. I'd rather stay in and read. God, how much I do not want to go in to work tomorrow.
