great, now I'll get 3 hours at best

[Last thing's first, since it's the most important: much *hugs* and ♥ for Fimmeh and Mel. Just appreciate you both saying something. ]

Crap, why am I still up. Signed out of the game to read 'a little bit' and I guess 'a little bit' means 'for two hours'. Was listening to my old 'melancholy' playlist since I kinda am, and trying to make myself feel better with ficcage, which kinda sorta but doesn't quite work. Did find some new stuff though (how have I not read it all yet, I truly don't know), including one that was awesome and funny and yet just enough puppyship to make me happy--that also included one of the best Jounouchi characterizations ever. And it's years old and was 1.epilogue chapters from ending. /whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Authors. Don't DO that. Please.

I imagine the sub for 5D's ep.10 is out, and for some reason I just don't feel like bothering. Guess I can check it Friday or something. (Since tomorrow's the concert and Thurs. is the one whole day I can raid this week)...though I guess Friday should be the financial stuff I kinda spaced off doing last week? : / Good going, me.

Maybe it's just the late, but at the moment out of the rage phase in regards to work and into the really depressed phase. I shouldn't make such a big deal, others have worse to deal with. Just gets a person so goddamned down to be treated with such disrespect and lack of caring. The people in charge simple Do. Not. Care. Honestly, how are you supposed to give your all, or even just give your average, when they simple do not give a *crap* about you, the materials you work with, your entire department. We are so much nothing. Just a group for the dean and his little queen bee of a business manager/secretary with delusions that she's fucking assistant dean to treat like dirt.

And I think what gets me most is I have *NO* clue at all what else I'm capable of doing--without falling further behind on earnings and job-based respect. I already feel like I'm enough of a nobody worker at a nobody job. especially compared to the usual him, and my stepmother, and my brother, and my stepsister. All with real white-collar corporate type things. That I would hate. But at the same time, wish I didn't hate, so that I could be like them and not prefer things that are so monkeywork and go-nowhere in comparison. But all I have is a bio degree that's so dead it's useless, a decade of library work that gets you only other library jobs at a time/place where there just aren't any other library jobs to be had, and some vague desires but no real pull towards something else I want to try. I just...I really don't want to end up back doing something minimum wage, not after over 10 years of working past that. I really don't want to have to reset it all again.

Right, from melancholy to outright depressed. Good going, me (again). I really don't want to go in tomorrow. I hope the concert's good, because I think I've gone down and gloom on everything. : /

afterstorm yet again

Ahhh, I find out the most interesting things. Seems that the storm Sat night/Sun am...had *two* tornadoes to it. The main one started as an EF-1 in the neighboring county, upgrading to EF-2 as it passed into our county into Millard. The second one was always an EF-1--but it passed *right over my neighborhood GAH*. Including both my place and my mother's place. And then the two merge in that area about a mile southeast. Pardon me, but GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Panic attack returning... DX That wind noise that I *knew* was tornado wind, wasn't just the one a mile away--it was a secondary one overhead, oh good gravy. And as I said before, all this 10-15 min before sirens went off. Am having a bit (lot) of trouble not obsessing on what if it had been a major category twister instead of just minor ones.

Someone was an idiot when I finally went to bed last night, and thus a spat ensued this morning because I made it very obvious I thought they were a massive idiot. Honestly, how can someone be so *dumb*. Then I forget my morning dose of the Prednisone, which specifically says don't forget a dose.

And at work this am they didn't have the air handlers on. So it got to 85 before they finally turned them on, but oh wait! The construction people had them routed to the construction area, which meant our offices were getting *NOTHING*. Even though I think poorly of our dean, he made us laugh by in our presence calling this crew morons. Because they are. Total morons. At least they've been forced to get the AC going normally (even if it was like 2:30 by the time it was discovered), so we should be not at 86ish anymore. Soonish. Made the mistake of eating lunch, and holy hell I thought I was going to get sick.

Someday I am going to stop making 2+ posts a day :/