Ugh, what am I thinking...

A self-indulgent bit of foolishness. :x I've been really wanting to write a tag for 5D's ep.5 for the last couple weeks. Crimson dragon = ♥♥♥

*****


Title: Therefore I Am.
Author: whitereflection/Di
Fandom: Yu-gi-oh! 5D's
Warnings: spoilers for ep.5 & 7, 2nd person perspective, odd 'character' POV
Disclaimer: All things 5D's are property of Studio Gallop, Konami, NAS.
Summary: How it might have been for the one summoned. (655 words)


( It starts with a heartbeat. )

Ancora Imparo

Am feeling rather duck-and-hide about having actually posted that fic bit to the ygo_5ds community last night (this morning?). But then again, that's kind of why I did put it up when I was too dead-tired to stop myself. Knew I would be embarassed at how weird of a piece it was and how melodramatic and purple the wording was--if I waited 'til today I'd've just put it up in my own journal where really no one would see it. Not that it's a big community. It's really rather tiny yet.

But it did get some notice, though the two who responded were extremely nice, and gave a couple suggestions for tweaking it. Which is extra-appreciated--I'm horridly, pathetically rusty, and have never been really very good as it was. I never seem to really move beyond writing like I'm in high school, even though that's over 15 years behind me. Though it brings to mind a quote from Michelangelo I just ran into a bit earlier this evening: "Ancora Imparo", translated as "Yet I am learning" (or alternatively as "Still I learn" or "I am still learning"). Every time I do a piece I learn a bit more (even if I do feel I've regressed). I may never be the sort of author/BNF that's really looked up to or respected, may never be able to do the sort of epic stories that always awe me, but I can at least keep learning toward that goal.

And speaking of quotes, I heard another that put into words *exactly* why I tend to read the works I do, and write the way I do. It came from, of all things, Clash of the Titans, which I watched with Anj and Kel this evening. I've not seen it before, even though it's one of those utterly classic films, especially for those who appreciate the development of animation and special effects. Though, yes, it's definitely a B sort of movie, with a good deal of cheese to it and the sort of acting/dialog delivery that makes a person snicker.

But at one point the character Ammon, played by Burgess Meridith, says, ""I was partial to tragedy in my youth. That was before experience taught me that life was tragic enough without my having to write about it." And it just *clicked*. Because that is exactly how I've always felt, but have never quite been able to put into words. Reading and writing is my escape. I get enough of problems and things not working out, sadness and loss and failing and heartbreak, from real life--in a story, I am happiest when things end well if not happily ever after, when characters succeed and it all works out (even if things hurt along the way). In other words, in fiction I want to see something *other* than real life. What's the point of writing real life? We're *living* that.


Anyway. Suppose I should go sleep. Kept myself up until after 3:30 last night (even if I did sleep in until 9). And tomorrow need to be up early since I'm going to the zoo with Mom. Should be a bit of a madhouse, especially around the new butterfly pavillion. Ahh, Memorial Day weekend. (Also, still dreading the Teron Gorefiend fight tomorrow night. Even if I hope we don't have enough people, I know it will *eventually* happen. I have little to no confidence in my ability to control/take down the constructs--and am very torn about volunteering to sit it out. Blargh.)

Also, this CD is really quite awesome. Origa has such an rich, lovely voice.