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return of /headwall
Nov. 1st, 2007 10:13 amIt is the sort of day where I call my doctor's billing service about a charge that was misfiled and thus denied by my insurance this summer, that allegedly they have been working on refiling, yet is still on my bill--and after 20 minutes on hold find out I need to talk with a specific person. Then they call back and tell me that specific person is on vacation until next week.
Mood funk continues. Swear it's approaching a month? Or more, I dunno. Haven't really felt like I can interact with anyone or anything normally since I returned from my UK trip. Today specifically I am a klutz, and am wallowing in various reasons I am Fail. There are many.
Mom flies in today, have the day off tomorrow to go with her, an aunt, and my brother's gf to a local craft fair thing. Speaking of aunts, been brooding for several days about something my aunt out in Seattle's family did to my mother. Always thought they were ok, flaky and prone to constant crises, but ok.
My mother was going to have my cousin from out there apartment-sit for the two months she'll be visiting Omaha. But then my aunt let slip that my cousin's drinking is at a severe level, so Mom decided against. It's even in her lease that she's still responsible if someone's apartment-sitting if she's gone. My aunt went ballistic, screaming. Later, my uncle confronted Mom, demanded she change her mind, then started yelling when she refused.
THEN. My aunt and uncle show up at Mom's place, she lets them in figuring they want to talk--yet they totally remain silent, just stand there. Until they abruptly *both* start screaming at her. Literally in her face, all but pushing her around screaming at her. She demanded they leave, they refused. At one point she retreated to her bedroom and shut the door on them. They wouldn't leave until she was starting to dial 911.
I'm furious (to the point of wanting to be violent to these people), and freaked the hell out. Mom's already changed her apt. locks. And sure there's going to be time for this all to chill as she's going to be here for two months. But I don't want her to go back. I know she's talked about moving back from Seattle, but I thought that wasn't a good idea--the weather is so much worse here, the public transportation's abysmal, there's really no grocery delivery, things she all needs. But one thing I always relied on is that she had family out there. Now I don't trust them. I know they use pot, but that is not pothead behavior. That's...like coke or meth behavior. They really act anymore like they're on something hard, and I don't think they're safe or trustworthy people anymore.
So I don't know. Maybe Mom should move back. I'd feel better if she was far from them, and closer to those of us who can do things for her when she needs. Sad that the yuppie middle-class part of my family is no better than the white trash part of my family.
God, I hate that for absolutely no reason it's-all-hopeless feeling that's always around anymore.
Mood funk continues. Swear it's approaching a month? Or more, I dunno. Haven't really felt like I can interact with anyone or anything normally since I returned from my UK trip. Today specifically I am a klutz, and am wallowing in various reasons I am Fail. There are many.
Mom flies in today, have the day off tomorrow to go with her, an aunt, and my brother's gf to a local craft fair thing. Speaking of aunts, been brooding for several days about something my aunt out in Seattle's family did to my mother. Always thought they were ok, flaky and prone to constant crises, but ok.
My mother was going to have my cousin from out there apartment-sit for the two months she'll be visiting Omaha. But then my aunt let slip that my cousin's drinking is at a severe level, so Mom decided against. It's even in her lease that she's still responsible if someone's apartment-sitting if she's gone. My aunt went ballistic, screaming. Later, my uncle confronted Mom, demanded she change her mind, then started yelling when she refused.
THEN. My aunt and uncle show up at Mom's place, she lets them in figuring they want to talk--yet they totally remain silent, just stand there. Until they abruptly *both* start screaming at her. Literally in her face, all but pushing her around screaming at her. She demanded they leave, they refused. At one point she retreated to her bedroom and shut the door on them. They wouldn't leave until she was starting to dial 911.
I'm furious (to the point of wanting to be violent to these people), and freaked the hell out. Mom's already changed her apt. locks. And sure there's going to be time for this all to chill as she's going to be here for two months. But I don't want her to go back. I know she's talked about moving back from Seattle, but I thought that wasn't a good idea--the weather is so much worse here, the public transportation's abysmal, there's really no grocery delivery, things she all needs. But one thing I always relied on is that she had family out there. Now I don't trust them. I know they use pot, but that is not pothead behavior. That's...like coke or meth behavior. They really act anymore like they're on something hard, and I don't think they're safe or trustworthy people anymore.
So I don't know. Maybe Mom should move back. I'd feel better if she was far from them, and closer to those of us who can do things for her when she needs. Sad that the yuppie middle-class part of my family is no better than the white trash part of my family.
God, I hate that for absolutely no reason it's-all-hopeless feeling that's always around anymore.
