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Mel makes me go dig through my CDs for Depeche Mode (though I only have Violator and The Singles 86>98), while Jackie has me finding my Daft Punk Discovery and Human After All discs. I am obviously easily influenced musically.

Still not feeling all well, but in at work anyway. Seem to keep following the pattern of feeling kind of ok in the morning at home, to come in and start feeling more cruddy. Least it's not as bad as Monday. I can only figure the stuff I'm allergic to here irritates things somehow.

Day of not getting much done though. Have vendors in for three days this wk (obviously I missed the group in yest) showing open URL, federated search, etc sorts of items, and we're encourage to go to the presentations to compare/rate them all. Trouble is, I'm not sure I'm fully able to analyze the features they offer or lack. But I went to a couple sessions this am anyway. Also, have a 2hr mandatory strategic planning meeting this afternoon for vision exercises or some such whatnot. It...will be interesting. That sort of "interesting". People are very tense and not looking forward to it, and generally only going because we are being made to (the 'you can make me go but I won't participate' attitude is common). Whee, to say the least.

Have my allergy shot this aft, which with how I've been feeling I'm not really all that gung-ho on.

Saw a fanart on one of the KH communities this am that makes me go ow-ow-ow, because it is of a certain scene involving characters I am most fond of. :( That is the trouble with fandom, in that it is almost universal that people focus heavily on that moment of "Ow" and examine it and the events/interactions leading up to in excrutiating detail from every possible angle; perhaps even replaying it in a multitude of different ways. I guess it's a smaller percentage that are like me in that they want to look beyond that moment to a way of...changing the ow, fixing it in some way. I wave my little fix-it fic/art flag still, even if I'm in the minority. :|

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Closed Beta servers are both down. It's not the maintenance they said would be tomorrow aft/evening. I know, is a beta, it happens. Just isn't a crash/restart thing. Is a down down not even listed-as-offline, they aren't even *listed* thing. So down all evening. Perhaps. Then there'll be the down-for-maintenance tomorrow. Le bummer. Just was kinda looking forward to it (just don't feel like playing the regular version, and now that I'm inna funk I don't feel like going for KH2 or FFX either).

Also...beset by massive stupid every time I open my mouth or give an LJ comment. Think I'm pissing peoples off and/or being an irritant. Time to try'n find some fic to wallow in (...in which to wallow?) Tune out the mental voice yelling 'stupid stupid dork-ass loser stupid' >< ;

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Ohyesand:

So, at work today, in the strategic plan/vision 2hr meeting thing? At one point I make reference to "STFU GTFO"...and no one at the table got it. At all. Not even Kelly, who has been my friend for years now? Who has hung out with Gina and Anj and I, for video gaming and anime and fangeeking of various sorts? Who is an email/web browser/internet user, and who I *know* is a part of various Yahoo!groups. Even she didn't get it.

I AM SO DORK GEEK NEVER FITS IN FAIL EVERYWHERES IT ISN'T FUNNY NOT EVEN A LITTLE LOL.




Yeah, I know, I've been all SimplePlan!Di HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, and it really is pretty stupid. I'll quit, I'm sorry. Think I've been doing the trying-too-hard-desperate-plz-like-me thing a lot lately, too, and am gonna stop that as well. Only has the opposite effect.

(And didn't really find fic enough to wallow in, but did find a bit with which to wade in like up to my ankles, so I guess that's good enough.)

[Ed: ._. oh. So that explains the wangstemo. Three+ decades, and I still fail at body awareness. >_o ]