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Apr. 27th, 2004 09:30 amSaa. Despite the fact that I only do it every single week, I forgot what time I was supposed to staff the Docs Desk this am. For some reason thought I had to go out at 10 instead of 9, ended up remembering only twenty minutes late. Stupid.
Segue-tangent into a side thought that I've been chewing on recently: I hate coming off as stupid. I hate how I always seem airheaded, vacant, stupid, silly, *blond*. I hate that.
Seven days until the oral exam, ten until the final. I don't know how students do this course while taking other classes. If it weren't just work and the one class for me, I think I'd be flunking it.
Am stressing myself cold, and am tied up in one large knot. Or is it more a scad of small knots reknotted into a large one? Does anyone even care about the semantics of knots? Somehow I doubt it. But my body is so out of whack in so many ways, and I know it's pretty much because I'm not handling stress and anxiety right.
I should quit flipping past the retro radio station. Hearing Duran Duran's Ordinary World just strikes slightly wrong off my mood. Didn't keep me from singing (horribly) along, though.
Listening to the Weiss Kreuz Die Bleibende Erinnerung CD has been making me incredibly nostalgic for the original show. I just...can't get into the new stuff. It's pretty, but...a lot of things I don't like about it anymore, and it's missing so many things I did like. Anyway. *shrugs*
God, any whisper of responsibility/need to do/have to do is about sending me off the deep end. (nowait, let me change that..*is* sending me off the deep end, completely, utterly.) *clutches at hair* ...speaking of hair...need to just give up the idea of cosplaying anything for AX and get the stupid stuff trimmed. Is uglier than even is normal.
Have to figure out when to do the usual bills/laundry thing with going to Lewis Black Friday...Friday...aw*fsck*... D< Katkat, I'm going to miss the rp/school chats Friday night totally. My apologies. *grovels*
Ohyeah, I just have everything so together. D
Segue-tangent into a side thought that I've been chewing on recently: I hate coming off as stupid. I hate how I always seem airheaded, vacant, stupid, silly, *blond*. I hate that.
Seven days until the oral exam, ten until the final. I don't know how students do this course while taking other classes. If it weren't just work and the one class for me, I think I'd be flunking it.
Am stressing myself cold, and am tied up in one large knot. Or is it more a scad of small knots reknotted into a large one? Does anyone even care about the semantics of knots? Somehow I doubt it. But my body is so out of whack in so many ways, and I know it's pretty much because I'm not handling stress and anxiety right.
I should quit flipping past the retro radio station. Hearing Duran Duran's Ordinary World just strikes slightly wrong off my mood. Didn't keep me from singing (horribly) along, though.
Listening to the Weiss Kreuz Die Bleibende Erinnerung CD has been making me incredibly nostalgic for the original show. I just...can't get into the new stuff. It's pretty, but...a lot of things I don't like about it anymore, and it's missing so many things I did like. Anyway. *shrugs*
God, any whisper of responsibility/need to do/have to do is about sending me off the deep end. (nowait, let me change that..*is* sending me off the deep end, completely, utterly.) *clutches at hair* ...speaking of hair...need to just give up the idea of cosplaying anything for AX and get the stupid stuff trimmed. Is uglier than even is normal.
Have to figure out when to do the usual bills/laundry thing with going to Lewis Black Friday...Friday...aw*fsck*... D< Katkat, I'm going to miss the rp/school chats Friday night totally. My apologies. *grovels*
Ohyeah, I just have everything so together. D
