"I hate you, Milkman Dan"
Apr. 4th, 2003 10:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
whitereflectionV. cranky this morning. I'm extremely disgusted with the world in general, aggravated with James, annoyed at work, and wondering what the hell that sudden head rush/vertigo thing that just happened right now was all about. Ackgh. Glad you all are out there, tho. Makes me feel better. *sighs, thunks head on monitor several times*
Am feeling a bit tripped out by the weather. Two days ago it was 85. Yesterday, was in the low 70s/upper 60s. Today, I wake up to sleet, with freezing temps tonight. ...wtf? I hate this state, I swear. I wanna live somewhere where the weather is consistentish, like Seattle or areas of the southwest.
Last night was a waste of time night. I've been working on a bad case of sleep deprivation (I get that from too many nights in a row of 4-5hrs. or less)--so instead of getting anything at all done, I had dinner and crashed after talking to Mom. Bah. Now I've got to get all the laundry, vaccuuming and bills done tonight, if I'm going to be able to get work done on my stained glass project as well as talk to Nix on Saturday.
Got a DnD game I don't really feel like going to on Sunday, then more Fruba with the others. Not that I don't want to watch Fruba (tho I would prefer fansubs to the Funimation crap, but since Katherine's providing... *shrugs*), but I just actually don't feel like hanging out with Katherine at the moment. (It's hard to tolerate and be civil when tired) And plus James wants to have it at our place, as Katherine's makes him feel claustrophobic (she has a lot of crap in her place)--but inna way, I'm still not wanting to have Katherine in my home, just because I'm a pissy bitch. But I will anyway, because I acknowledge it's hard to hang out at her place and not feel grossed out and hemmed in. Bah.
Gonna get no major 'around-the-house' projects done this weekend. Though Anj has expressed a willingness to help sort through those boxes of knick-knacks in the living room Saturday evening if she gets back into town soon enough. So maybe something will get accomplished.
Man...looking at it all, I wonder if I'll be able to work in any AIM time amongst everything else. Been working on some major, major guilt about how little I'm around for people. I can't just *say* I care for people all the time--I've got to show it somehow, by being there at least.
Re: everyday life. You know what? I *hate* being the responsible one, being the only one that actually gets crap done (without being told/nagged/forced), being the only fricking one who seems to give a shzt about all that junk around the house getting accomplished, the *ONLY* fricking one who seems to put work before play. I *hate* feeling like I'm a mother taking care of a child. I hate everyone oohing and ahing about how hard a certain person's work is, when at home they don't do shzt. Yeah, I goof off at work, but I still have to be there 8 hours a day, and I still get *THINGS DONE*. On time, without being made to. And I actually work harder at *home* than I do at work oftentimes, but does anyone fricking ooh and aah about that? And do I get any compensation or reward for it? What's really pathetic is how I feel like I've slipped into some gender roles/sex roles, and I can't fscking *STAND* that sort of shzt. It's not about male-female, it's about sharing responsibilities and doing what you've promised you're going to, no goddamned excuses. God-fucking-dammit.
Anyway. Whatever. And here is a funny place: http://monkeydyne.com/rmcs/ , perfect for Red Meat (the comic) fans, or people with whack-job senses of humor.
Am feeling a bit tripped out by the weather. Two days ago it was 85. Yesterday, was in the low 70s/upper 60s. Today, I wake up to sleet, with freezing temps tonight. ...wtf? I hate this state, I swear. I wanna live somewhere where the weather is consistentish, like Seattle or areas of the southwest.
Last night was a waste of time night. I've been working on a bad case of sleep deprivation (I get that from too many nights in a row of 4-5hrs. or less)--so instead of getting anything at all done, I had dinner and crashed after talking to Mom. Bah. Now I've got to get all the laundry, vaccuuming and bills done tonight, if I'm going to be able to get work done on my stained glass project as well as talk to Nix on Saturday.
Got a DnD game I don't really feel like going to on Sunday, then more Fruba with the others. Not that I don't want to watch Fruba (tho I would prefer fansubs to the Funimation crap, but since Katherine's providing... *shrugs*), but I just actually don't feel like hanging out with Katherine at the moment. (It's hard to tolerate and be civil when tired) And plus James wants to have it at our place, as Katherine's makes him feel claustrophobic (she has a lot of crap in her place)--but inna way, I'm still not wanting to have Katherine in my home, just because I'm a pissy bitch. But I will anyway, because I acknowledge it's hard to hang out at her place and not feel grossed out and hemmed in. Bah.
Gonna get no major 'around-the-house' projects done this weekend. Though Anj has expressed a willingness to help sort through those boxes of knick-knacks in the living room Saturday evening if she gets back into town soon enough. So maybe something will get accomplished.
Man...looking at it all, I wonder if I'll be able to work in any AIM time amongst everything else. Been working on some major, major guilt about how little I'm around for people. I can't just *say* I care for people all the time--I've got to show it somehow, by being there at least.
Re: everyday life. You know what? I *hate* being the responsible one, being the only one that actually gets crap done (without being told/nagged/forced), being the only fricking one who seems to give a shzt about all that junk around the house getting accomplished, the *ONLY* fricking one who seems to put work before play. I *hate* feeling like I'm a mother taking care of a child. I hate everyone oohing and ahing about how hard a certain person's work is, when at home they don't do shzt. Yeah, I goof off at work, but I still have to be there 8 hours a day, and I still get *THINGS DONE*. On time, without being made to. And I actually work harder at *home* than I do at work oftentimes, but does anyone fricking ooh and aah about that? And do I get any compensation or reward for it? What's really pathetic is how I feel like I've slipped into some gender roles/sex roles, and I can't fscking *STAND* that sort of shzt. It's not about male-female, it's about sharing responsibilities and doing what you've promised you're going to, no goddamned excuses. God-fucking-dammit.
Anyway. Whatever. And here is a funny place: http://monkeydyne.com/rmcs/ , perfect for Red Meat (the comic) fans, or people with whack-job senses of humor.