A vote of 'No Confidence'
Sep. 9th, 2002 04:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
whitereflectionHanging out at B&N yesterday was actually rather cool, and did help reset things a bit--ate lunch in their cafe (pricey for what was a sandwich and chips, but oh well), drank too much frappacino (venti, or their biggest size = bad idea for one who is a bit caffeine sensitive), read "Barry Trotter and the Unauthorized Parody" XD Rather amusing. Tried to read Dave Barry's "Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway" and some book of collected humor from the internet (ironic, somehow), but I was too jittery to sit still. But when I got home, Katherine either hadn't tried to call, or hadn't left a message. Took the chance to call Nix and talk for a couple hours, which *really* helped me recharge. :)
I did get a verification of what Katherine's up to, though. Anj was starting to think she'd just wanted to get ahold of us to ask if we could help out with offering at church Sunday am (yeah right, but Anj really does try to believe the best at all times). But frankly, you don't ask to talk to people only if they're alone for something like that--and you don't put it off, even if they've got guests over. It's just a quick question. But Kelly mentioned today that Katherine had gotten ahold of her on Saturday, and did ask what she'd done so wrong that people were acting strange since AI. Kelly was as honest as she felt she could be, though she wasn't able to express herself as much or as well as she'd wanted (Katherine had caught her off guard with the call). She'd kept worrying about not speaking for the group of us, but I think she should have, just to make it easier to tell Katherine what was all going wrong. It wouldn't have bothered me, and I know it wouldn't have bothered Anj.
Already, it's going just like I'd expected--Katherine immediately started making excuses and rationalizations to Kelly, then took the stand as the wounded party, started going off about how everything was just wrong things we were doing *to* her. This, frankly, is the nail on the coffin as far as I'm concerned. Attitudes like this mean that Katherine can't even see what she's doing wrong, or refuses to see--and I know I can't be around someone like that if they aren't trying to change those behaviors. I can't stand it when someone refuses to take responsibility for their actions, instead always blaming others for what are their faults.
I think I'm going to avoid the phone tonight. I thought I might call out to keep a busy signal going, but I'm really fried due to work--so I think I'll either let the machine take calls, or just take the thing off the hook. I know I can't avoid Katherine forever, but I think what I need to do is compose an email--that way I can take control of my confrontation with her. I can organize and present my thoughts the way I want to, and can make sure everything that I feel is necessary is included. Then she can take it or leave it, but she won't have caught me flat-footed or flustered. I don't express myself well either verbally or written, but in this way at least I can make sure it's all there. But in any case, if Katherine wants to know what's wrong, we're going to eventually tell her--and since she seems to think we're the bad guys for her crap, that's probably going to be that. For now she seems to still be hanging around and putting on the "good" face, but I think once she finds out Anj and I (and James, too) are also as upset as she thinks we are, I think she'll stomp off in a proverbial huff, as it seems she's done to others in the past. History does seem to repeat itself when one refuses to admit you need to change, doesn't it?
Time to shut up about that. It's been the subject of how many of my posts lately? Too many. As far as work frying me--it's not busy, it's not stressy... It's the budget.
See, we had (love that past tense) this program/office here at UNO called the Learning Center. It was *the* source on campus of organized tutoring. They had a really well organized program set up, where they hired and trained students as tutors, worked with classes to set up tutoring hours in advance (basic classes just had tutoring sessions ready from day one)--they were almost like study sessions for these classes. They offered major help for writing papers, help with classes, mentoring, workshops on study habits--lets just say they were extremely effective, and a rather good program. Hell, they'd just received some sort of national accreditation. Then we come in this morning, and their offices are closed. (They shared the Library building). No warning, no official announcement even until tomorrow, but thanks to budget cuts, their program's been totally shut down, all their students and staff (a director, assistant director, a couple of administrative assistants) just tossed out on their asses. We're not even sure that *they* received any warning. They either were told last Friday, or this morning.
Yes, it's not my department, it's not even technically the library, though they were under our Dean's administrative umbrella. But this was a major UNO program, totally axed out of the blue. The word is no other major permanent changes are planned, but do we trust that? Hell. No. This was totally unexpected, something else totally unexpected could happen any day--especially since the state legislature still's not finished with their special session on the budget yet. And next year there's supposed to be *more* budget cuts. Let me tell ya, normally we'd be buried and behind with books right now--but we're slow, and that's because purchasing of materials has been so cut back due to the budget.
So...can we say no confidence, horrible morale? Even if things settle down for a while, employee attitude here is that something else will come eventually, more job cuts, more hiring freezes. I just don't know at this point whether to gamble that it's going to get worse, and be like one of the rats from a sinking ship, or gamble that it'll be ok, and potentially one of the last going down with the ship. (And now I'm more sure than ever the raise this year was salvaged from other places to bribe us into staying--keep us happy so we wouldn't bail.) It's just...odd. We don't know what to think. Those of us with less seniority in a department are worried, and those of us who have more seniority (therefore earning more pay that would result in more 'budget savings' if they're laid off) are worried--everyone's freaky. I forget--was this the first year of the major budget cutbacks, or the second? In either case, there's going to be *for certain* at least one more year of this, if not two.
Which is frightening, because some areas are so thin you can see through them *already*. Some places can't take more cuts. And what of the students we're allegedly so focused on serving? There are fewer classes now, and classes offered on nights and weekends have been cut back or stopped entirely. Not to mention some departments have been trimmed majorly, some are disappearing--now the major learning help/tutoring assistance on campus is gone. Why the hell are we here then? And who's next to go? It's rather scary how tasty a target the Library is really, for the Univ. chancellor's cuts--gee, all this stuff's out on the web now, who needs to have all these books and stuff here? And therefore why do you need all those people to work with the books that no one really needs anyway?
...this has degenerated into senseless babble. As usual, I apologize. It's just piling on, and I'm not handling it well. I'm poor at dealing with stress, which is obvious. So, let me just end all of this, snarking on work and Katherine and whatnot, and just pipe it.
I really do have good things going on, I promise I do. I'll try again on talking about those tomorrow. Tonight I'll just try sitting out on the back porch and thinking as it gets dark.
I did get a verification of what Katherine's up to, though. Anj was starting to think she'd just wanted to get ahold of us to ask if we could help out with offering at church Sunday am (yeah right, but Anj really does try to believe the best at all times). But frankly, you don't ask to talk to people only if they're alone for something like that--and you don't put it off, even if they've got guests over. It's just a quick question. But Kelly mentioned today that Katherine had gotten ahold of her on Saturday, and did ask what she'd done so wrong that people were acting strange since AI. Kelly was as honest as she felt she could be, though she wasn't able to express herself as much or as well as she'd wanted (Katherine had caught her off guard with the call). She'd kept worrying about not speaking for the group of us, but I think she should have, just to make it easier to tell Katherine what was all going wrong. It wouldn't have bothered me, and I know it wouldn't have bothered Anj.
Already, it's going just like I'd expected--Katherine immediately started making excuses and rationalizations to Kelly, then took the stand as the wounded party, started going off about how everything was just wrong things we were doing *to* her. This, frankly, is the nail on the coffin as far as I'm concerned. Attitudes like this mean that Katherine can't even see what she's doing wrong, or refuses to see--and I know I can't be around someone like that if they aren't trying to change those behaviors. I can't stand it when someone refuses to take responsibility for their actions, instead always blaming others for what are their faults.
I think I'm going to avoid the phone tonight. I thought I might call out to keep a busy signal going, but I'm really fried due to work--so I think I'll either let the machine take calls, or just take the thing off the hook. I know I can't avoid Katherine forever, but I think what I need to do is compose an email--that way I can take control of my confrontation with her. I can organize and present my thoughts the way I want to, and can make sure everything that I feel is necessary is included. Then she can take it or leave it, but she won't have caught me flat-footed or flustered. I don't express myself well either verbally or written, but in this way at least I can make sure it's all there. But in any case, if Katherine wants to know what's wrong, we're going to eventually tell her--and since she seems to think we're the bad guys for her crap, that's probably going to be that. For now she seems to still be hanging around and putting on the "good" face, but I think once she finds out Anj and I (and James, too) are also as upset as she thinks we are, I think she'll stomp off in a proverbial huff, as it seems she's done to others in the past. History does seem to repeat itself when one refuses to admit you need to change, doesn't it?
Time to shut up about that. It's been the subject of how many of my posts lately? Too many. As far as work frying me--it's not busy, it's not stressy... It's the budget.
See, we had (love that past tense) this program/office here at UNO called the Learning Center. It was *the* source on campus of organized tutoring. They had a really well organized program set up, where they hired and trained students as tutors, worked with classes to set up tutoring hours in advance (basic classes just had tutoring sessions ready from day one)--they were almost like study sessions for these classes. They offered major help for writing papers, help with classes, mentoring, workshops on study habits--lets just say they were extremely effective, and a rather good program. Hell, they'd just received some sort of national accreditation. Then we come in this morning, and their offices are closed. (They shared the Library building). No warning, no official announcement even until tomorrow, but thanks to budget cuts, their program's been totally shut down, all their students and staff (a director, assistant director, a couple of administrative assistants) just tossed out on their asses. We're not even sure that *they* received any warning. They either were told last Friday, or this morning.
Yes, it's not my department, it's not even technically the library, though they were under our Dean's administrative umbrella. But this was a major UNO program, totally axed out of the blue. The word is no other major permanent changes are planned, but do we trust that? Hell. No. This was totally unexpected, something else totally unexpected could happen any day--especially since the state legislature still's not finished with their special session on the budget yet. And next year there's supposed to be *more* budget cuts. Let me tell ya, normally we'd be buried and behind with books right now--but we're slow, and that's because purchasing of materials has been so cut back due to the budget.
So...can we say no confidence, horrible morale? Even if things settle down for a while, employee attitude here is that something else will come eventually, more job cuts, more hiring freezes. I just don't know at this point whether to gamble that it's going to get worse, and be like one of the rats from a sinking ship, or gamble that it'll be ok, and potentially one of the last going down with the ship. (And now I'm more sure than ever the raise this year was salvaged from other places to bribe us into staying--keep us happy so we wouldn't bail.) It's just...odd. We don't know what to think. Those of us with less seniority in a department are worried, and those of us who have more seniority (therefore earning more pay that would result in more 'budget savings' if they're laid off) are worried--everyone's freaky. I forget--was this the first year of the major budget cutbacks, or the second? In either case, there's going to be *for certain* at least one more year of this, if not two.
Which is frightening, because some areas are so thin you can see through them *already*. Some places can't take more cuts. And what of the students we're allegedly so focused on serving? There are fewer classes now, and classes offered on nights and weekends have been cut back or stopped entirely. Not to mention some departments have been trimmed majorly, some are disappearing--now the major learning help/tutoring assistance on campus is gone. Why the hell are we here then? And who's next to go? It's rather scary how tasty a target the Library is really, for the Univ. chancellor's cuts--gee, all this stuff's out on the web now, who needs to have all these books and stuff here? And therefore why do you need all those people to work with the books that no one really needs anyway?
...this has degenerated into senseless babble. As usual, I apologize. It's just piling on, and I'm not handling it well. I'm poor at dealing with stress, which is obvious. So, let me just end all of this, snarking on work and Katherine and whatnot, and just pipe it.
I really do have good things going on, I promise I do. I'll try again on talking about those tomorrow. Tonight I'll just try sitting out on the back porch and thinking as it gets dark.