haaaa, look at me be productive. D:
Jul. 12th, 2004 09:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
whitereflectionGetting into gear is slow this am. -_- Doesn't help we had a power flicker while I was talking to Anj, and so I had to restart all my programs again.
Am trying desperately hard to not focus on politics this morning. Otherwise I will start to rant, and I swear I will not stop. Am just seething, and it's so damned hard to let it go. Just gets me so damned *angry* at how stupid it all is. Must let it go.
Slash and burn, download and burn. Taking a lot longer to get this done than I thought. Takes so much in the way of system resources, I can't watch anything while it's going, and trying to upload at the same time is a bad, bad idea. Will have to upload photo/mpeg stuff later in the week after the anime retrieving and burning is done. But yes, have some Champloo, Samurai 7, KKM, FMA, and am acquiring live action Sailor Moon (hopefully) because I want teh sparkly cheese. Next, I hope to work on SDK and PMK, perhaps TenTen--hell, I might as well admit I'll be plundering-pillaging a certain someone's streamload mercilessly. -_- I'm such a damned leech. But there's so many new series I don't have, and a bunch of older series that my brain goes 'gee, grab that and you can save a bit of money that way...' Such a loser-leech. T_T I need to pay back a couple of certain someones for letting me take take take.
But I do buy things. Really. Got the second Nadia box set, which shows ADVs good side again. The second half of the series, the Nadia movie, and two soundtracks (series third one and movie one), for forty bucks. Still an incredible deal, and I've heard is even cheaper out online. Honestly, it's worth supporting it when companies put together such a good package. Also got the Critic DVD set--certain people doing quotes at AX made me remember what love that series is. Such crack.
Man, been horrid-down on myself of late. The thoughts I've been having...so negative it's not funny. So it surprises me to see my performance evaluation and see it's frighteningly good, because I know how bad I suck, why don't they? I mean, yeah, I get things done, but think of what I'd be capable of if I didn't slack all the time. Like now. I mean, if I worked the entire day, instead of the 75% I usually give (and then there're days like last Friday I swear I did 25%...). But I think about it...work, I definitely don't do what I should. Home, I avoid all the projects I should be doing, let stuff sit for years. People, I neglect bad. I'm still not studying for Japanese, and in fact I'm actually not looking forward to the next year at all. I have an electric guitar I haven't practiced on in years, and never really learned in the first place. I have writing and oil pastel and painting and stained glass stuff I never do. I leech and I don't contribute--heck I can't even trouble myself to eat right and exercise, and thus am a current/future leech on resources and the health care sytem. And that's all only the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. In-person dork, online dork, gah.
And I'm still bummed I had to miss the They Might Be Giants show in town here. D<
I suppose it goes without saying that I'm not happy with how I'm doing in the rp. I'm not getting Kaidoh right at all. I have all these thoughts and ideas, and I never do them right, and maybe I'm not the most OOC out there, but I certainly ain't IC, and I by rights should do so much better. Dunno if I'm capable of it, but I should at least try harder. He comes off female, he comes off *me*, but at the same time I never seem to change. Just keep doing the same things. And it's hard to figure out whether fun should be at the cost of the character being right.
I suppose if I said I was dead-tired it would come as no surprise..? ._.
Am trying desperately hard to not focus on politics this morning. Otherwise I will start to rant, and I swear I will not stop. Am just seething, and it's so damned hard to let it go. Just gets me so damned *angry* at how stupid it all is. Must let it go.
Slash and burn, download and burn. Taking a lot longer to get this done than I thought. Takes so much in the way of system resources, I can't watch anything while it's going, and trying to upload at the same time is a bad, bad idea. Will have to upload photo/mpeg stuff later in the week after the anime retrieving and burning is done. But yes, have some Champloo, Samurai 7, KKM, FMA, and am acquiring live action Sailor Moon (hopefully) because I want teh sparkly cheese. Next, I hope to work on SDK and PMK, perhaps TenTen--hell, I might as well admit I'll be plundering-pillaging a certain someone's streamload mercilessly. -_- I'm such a damned leech. But there's so many new series I don't have, and a bunch of older series that my brain goes 'gee, grab that and you can save a bit of money that way...' Such a loser-leech. T_T I need to pay back a couple of certain someones for letting me take take take.
But I do buy things. Really. Got the second Nadia box set, which shows ADVs good side again. The second half of the series, the Nadia movie, and two soundtracks (series third one and movie one), for forty bucks. Still an incredible deal, and I've heard is even cheaper out online. Honestly, it's worth supporting it when companies put together such a good package. Also got the Critic DVD set--certain people doing quotes at AX made me remember what love that series is. Such crack.
Man, been horrid-down on myself of late. The thoughts I've been having...so negative it's not funny. So it surprises me to see my performance evaluation and see it's frighteningly good, because I know how bad I suck, why don't they? I mean, yeah, I get things done, but think of what I'd be capable of if I didn't slack all the time. Like now. I mean, if I worked the entire day, instead of the 75% I usually give (and then there're days like last Friday I swear I did 25%...). But I think about it...work, I definitely don't do what I should. Home, I avoid all the projects I should be doing, let stuff sit for years. People, I neglect bad. I'm still not studying for Japanese, and in fact I'm actually not looking forward to the next year at all. I have an electric guitar I haven't practiced on in years, and never really learned in the first place. I have writing and oil pastel and painting and stained glass stuff I never do. I leech and I don't contribute--heck I can't even trouble myself to eat right and exercise, and thus am a current/future leech on resources and the health care sytem. And that's all only the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. In-person dork, online dork, gah.
And I'm still bummed I had to miss the They Might Be Giants show in town here. D<
I suppose it goes without saying that I'm not happy with how I'm doing in the rp. I'm not getting Kaidoh right at all. I have all these thoughts and ideas, and I never do them right, and maybe I'm not the most OOC out there, but I certainly ain't IC, and I by rights should do so much better. Dunno if I'm capable of it, but I should at least try harder. He comes off female, he comes off *me*, but at the same time I never seem to change. Just keep doing the same things. And it's hard to figure out whether fun should be at the cost of the character being right.
I suppose if I said I was dead-tired it would come as no surprise..? ._.
