wtb: [Ego Boosts], pst

Construction things in here are making my face itch today. Why do I never remember to bring in that Astelin the allergist gave me. Not that it would help the itching actually, only the sinus part. But it is kind of sort of rather making me go fucking insane, to be honest. I wonder how nuts it has to make me before I could conceivably go home sick.

Anyway. Moping Diane is moping. Or has been. Mood's been swinging low, was pretty close to crappy last night. No reason. "Treated" it with a pint of ice cream (MarshaMarshmellow's been rereleased by B&J as S'mores, which is what it should've been named all along) and the Venture Bros. 2nd season DVD, which led to falling asleep on the couch after maybe 3 eps. My usual. The one thing about the way I've left guilds in WoW is being around people, just hanging out and goofing off--that was a big 'medication' for me. Now it's not there and I'm feeling it. And haven't been able to get myself into playing in days.

Cleared out my alts on Alleria the other day, as they'd all been deguilded. I saw Nin (my mage) back there was still in guild, so I assumed Sas (my old main, the rogue) still was. Logged on this morning to clear out mail to find that no, she'd been booted from LC. So I went ahead and deguilded Nin, too. I know I hadn't been back in eons, wasn't *really* planning on going back. But I was finally getting to the point where I felt comfortable in popping on again to say hi...and they'd basically booted all my toons. So yeah. Sort of felt like a door closing. I guess they couldn't know it'd take me this long to get (mostly) over the whole Lans thing, but still...they'd always indicated I was welcome to pop on to visit, but I guess that's not true anymore. Just makes me wonder if I really had *any* friends back there, other than the one person I'd known from years before, who is remarkably patient about going where I go even if I don't seem to know my direction. But the others--on Alleria or on Lightninghoof--in the end, none of them really seem to give a rat, despite how much I cared for them or how important I considered them. I guess that's a lesson for me or something.

Dear KH fandom: fuck you for the lack of AkuRoku, or of pretty much anything worth reading lately. What I wouldn't give for something of decent length that would actually take me *time* to read. Also: heard this for the first time this morning. http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Light-Up-The-Sky-lyrics-Yellowcard/DA479992B0A8EDB4482572DF002923B0 AkuRoku much? It is for me at least.

And *FUCK* this face itching.

whatever

Went home fairly early, face eventually stopped itching. Took the chance to get passport photos done, and they look really fucking awful--not the fault of the photographer at all. One of the reasons I've procrastinated on these is to find a time where my complexion clears, and you know, that happens never. Ever.

Leaving the photo place, saw a weird car accident. Truck two cars ahead of me suddenly turned right hard (from the left lane, weren't at an intersection), plowed through a streetlight pole (which toppled like a tree) and kept going for probably 50 feet before stopping just before hitting the sign for some muffler place. No idea what caused it all.

Got word back on the hormone bloodwork: totally normal. No sign of the high androgens at all. Which is fine, dandy--but the specialist's answer to my question of *why* it had spiked up a couple months ago was basically a sort of '*shrug* dunno' type answer, even when I pressed for any explanation or theory why. Whatever. Great that it's fine, but you'd think someone with that level of knowledge could offer some sort of reason why it happened at all. I guess I'll just tweeze hair from my chin and know it's because I'm a plain old freak.

Nothing sounds good right at the moment: computer/console games don't appeal, don't want to tv watch or read or talk or sleep, music doesn't sound good. Yet I'm good for eating, in fact indulged in even more ice cream, go me. And this is the sort of mood where I'm stewing extra over the crap that's going wrong with the house and feeling overwhelmed because I never *wanted* to deal with these things, but obviously no one else is and I don't even know where to start. I hate having a house. I so goddamn want out. But there's no chance of that--even if I convinced him we should sell (ha, as if), we'd have to get the crap fixed up anyway, so back to square one.

Temple piece keeps falling of my glasses again. Really, really need new ones.