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Sep. 26th, 2006 06:18 amGreat, today I can't just hide in my cubicle. (Least not until 2pm...) D< Which is what I rather need. Today is going great (not) already. D< -____-
Sep. 26th, 2006
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Sep. 26th, 2006 12:37 pmI know it isn't hormones. That's all done now. Unless it's some sort of swing back in the other direction like the whole "pre" thing, just "post" instead. Have theorized before there's such a thing.
But really, I know my mood swings, I know what they feel like. Today feels different, very strange, and I don't quite get it. Like, it's not just a mood swing, not just being down/emo/moody/what-have you. It's been since it started the actual feeling of just-about-to-cry, where you get that tight knot behind your sternum, and that feeling in your throat--and it's been like that for what, five hours now? And it started, and continued for *no* reason I can discern? It's kind of freaking me out.
Been really hard to deal with and fight off, since I've been in training with a coworker pretty much all morning. Noticing that now I'm back in my cubicle I'm losing the ability to fight it off (or giving in to it?).
I just don't get it--it's *weird*. And why the hell, you know?
Feeling the need to be hidey. Wish I could just go home, too bad sick leave doesn't apply really. Least I can be hidey computerwise or gamewise if I need, but no way to be so from James, and honestly don't think I can deal with his usual crap atm. If I'll be lucky he'll be having a good night and not bug me--but lord knows, he'll probably be yelling about PVP stuff at his computer and doing his latest thing, which is thinking he can vent at me about it (which I *detest*, because I think his behaviour about it in the first place is pathetic and stupid. I *don't* want to hear about it. Because one of these days I'm going to snap and really tell him what I think, and oh that will not go well).
Being practically in physical discomfort and even pain from emotions when there is *no* cause or reason, is the freaking dumbest thing in the world, I swear.
Cold in here today.
But really, I know my mood swings, I know what they feel like. Today feels different, very strange, and I don't quite get it. Like, it's not just a mood swing, not just being down/emo/moody/what-have you. It's been since it started the actual feeling of just-about-to-cry, where you get that tight knot behind your sternum, and that feeling in your throat--and it's been like that for what, five hours now? And it started, and continued for *no* reason I can discern? It's kind of freaking me out.
Been really hard to deal with and fight off, since I've been in training with a coworker pretty much all morning. Noticing that now I'm back in my cubicle I'm losing the ability to fight it off (or giving in to it?).
I just don't get it--it's *weird*. And why the hell, you know?
Feeling the need to be hidey. Wish I could just go home, too bad sick leave doesn't apply really. Least I can be hidey computerwise or gamewise if I need, but no way to be so from James, and honestly don't think I can deal with his usual crap atm. If I'll be lucky he'll be having a good night and not bug me--but lord knows, he'll probably be yelling about PVP stuff at his computer and doing his latest thing, which is thinking he can vent at me about it (which I *detest*, because I think his behaviour about it in the first place is pathetic and stupid. I *don't* want to hear about it. Because one of these days I'm going to snap and really tell him what I think, and oh that will not go well).
Being practically in physical discomfort and even pain from emotions when there is *no* cause or reason, is the freaking dumbest thing in the world, I swear.
Cold in here today.