
...you know, I should have thought 'gee, if things for ~some~ reason run late, I should bring some dinner-food just in case'. ... >< Haven't even started...
It's not just being tired...I don't think I'm more than normal tired. I think it's that I'm feeling like I'm giving up. So damned much information, I can't keep it all straight in my head, it all goes scrambled. And hell, all this stuff we're going to say to each other tomorrow, how the hell are we going to memorize it in a matter of...how ever many hours I can still hold out? Why the fuck didn't I think to say "No, stay here and let's practice first, so I can eventually leave...then you can type stuff up after.". Why didn't I think of that like an intelligent human being? But yeah...I feel like I've just about given up on it all. (so I suppose I shouldn't use that icon, but whatthehell). I just don't think I can do it. Get this right like I should. Yeah, I'll do ok in the end because most of our recent assigments were graded as extra credit--but I'll know how much I fscked up in the verbal and written finals...I'll know how I've still not learned this, and how shaky I"ll be for starting second year.
Or something. I'm sorry, I'm just...I don't know, I'm just something. Barfing text on a screen. Like I've packed too much into the suitcase and it's all exploding all over the room now. Part of me wants to beg for a hug, someone to let me lean and tell me it's all okay, but that all doesn't really fix anything, does it?
Fine, whatever, I told him I'd wait (like a moron) so I'll wait. But when he gets back, I'll tell him we're running through it all fscking quick, and then I get the hell out of here. I'm so fucking done with all this. ...tonight at least. *sighs*