Wasted opportunities

Spent *all* fscking day at work yesterday wanting to be home and working on an oil pastel piece I've been doing, or at least on my stained glass project. *All* day. So what did I do when I got home? Ate dinner and fell asleep. >_< Goddammit.

www.theonion.com are all my heroes. Biting, *biting* political-social humor. Made me *snerk* even in my current mood. 'Props' to them (whatever the hell that means).

I hate living in Nebraska. I hate nearly everything about Nebraska. As if you didn't know that by now.

Linkin Park is doing a concert at Council Bluff's M.A.C. Arena at the end of April. I don't have the money to buy a ticket. FSCK! ><;;;;;;; Goddammit, what do I have to do to have the funds for things like this? Sell fscking plasma? *ponders* Maybe I should...

Haiku: The Waiting Series

(3 haiku, 1 tanka ; Written 3/26/03)

Waiting I: Spring

Listless clouds hang low
over the dim-grey city;
Rain still does not fall.

***

Waiting II: Of Summer

Holding my breath, I
listen past the horizon--
my heart beats thunder.

***

Waiting III: Loss

Sunlight breaks through grey;
slate blue clouds roll out of sight.
Mourn the stillborn storm.

***

Waiting IV: Commencement

A blue-black bruised sky:
Water-fragrant winds gust chill,
sharp drops on my face.
Reaching out my hand, I let
curious skin taste the rain.

And the point is...?

From the stuff on my mind, and what's going on in my life, and from what I've seen/read/heard about others going through, I have to wonder...

What exactly is the point of life and living, anyway? We don't really live that long in the grand scheme of things, and most seem miserable most of the time they are alive. Is it just procreation? :p Dear god, I hope not. And what does that say for those who don't want children? And if the point is just reproducing, why do we have all this thinking/feeling/creating/scentience crap in amongst it all? Why aren't we just like animals, going at it by instinct, occasionally migrating, and focusing on little other than survival?

Weird mood, yes, but truly, I just don't get it.

Of ineptitude and crappy tools.

Just spent hours (ie. since I got home from work, with only a break for dinner) trying to hang my monstrosity of a spice rack on a kitchen wall. Only to have the one drill bit that will work for the project break, with more yet to drill. Goddamn it. *sighs, thunks head on monitor* (Yes, hours. I am truly that incompetent and slow at that sort of thing.)

But I finally got James to do the taxes he's been promising to do for the past two months. By buying the TurboTax software, and making it very obvious I'd done so that *I* could go ahead and do them. Amazing how quickly he got going, then.

However, now that he's done the federal ones, it seems our refund will be a huge chunk less than last year. ...I was counting on getting more than that back. Counting on it. What an idiot I can be.

But I have now successfully acquired plane tickets down to Dallas for Akon (Kea, arriving on the morning of the Wednesday the 28th is ok, right? I seem to recall this is so... And I have us flying back the following Sunday afternoon.).

Aaron--Found out today, it's definitely just me at AX. Which works out just fine, IMO. Did you get the room yet? Is it going to be the WCA? What days are you reserving for? (So I know when to fly in and fly out.) If you've got the room for sure, I'll go ahead and grab my con registration.

Ngah. Will stop talking/posting odd crap now. Will go read more of the comics Mom sent me from the Seattle paper. Maybe that will keep me from getting angry again--I've been getting extremely angry at just everything today. Just...everything. And maybe sitting doing nothing will get whatever triggered my allergies to start kicking my ass and hard, to calm the hell down. Crap, when did I get so tired?

Apologies to those I owe email/commentary to. Will get to that soon, I promise.