Life thus far (sans snarkyness)

As I've said to some, no real change in things, but I'm dealing with stuff better. I just needed a dose of maturity (and a good dose of talking with Nix last night. ^__^ There's something extra special about being able to hear her--and any sort of interaction with her recharges me a bunch. *extrahugs Nix*). So anyway, today's normal, not uberdark like I was dumping all over everyone yesterday am. Eh. ^^;

So what's been up? Let's see... Had more activities this weekend than usual--Anj, James and I took Gina to Buca di Beppo (a trippy Italian place) for lunch Saturday for her birthday. After a stop at the Pucca store at the mall (since we promised we'd take Gina there after she got a job), we finished watching Pretear. And lemme tell ya, the ending to that is one giant *hanyaaaaaan*. :) It's a really heartwarming show--and while I've heard the manga is different, I really like the feel of the anime. I'd recommend it (come on, it's short--wouldn't take much time to watch). But the HK subs we'd borrowed from Michael were hideous--I definitely will be finding fansubs for my own copies.

Anyway, we went to James' supervisor's place for his annual fish fry Sat. evening. That went decently enough, but it was really chilly out--and typical of me, I'd spaced brining a jacket. I gotta remember to grab it off the back of my computer chair and wipe the cathair ( >_<; ) off of it...

Before that though, I asked James again about Thanksgiving. I was right--he hadn't given any more thought to it, as I think he's avoiding it. He said *he* definitely didn't want to go, but wasn't real sure on the idea of just me going. I hated to, but I brought up that my airfare could be partially funded by Nix (as where I'd get the money for flying would be a big concern for him). Unfortunately, there's still no decision--he was okay when I first started discussing it, but got more morose and upset as we continued to talk. I told him if he needed to think about it more, I'd give him the time, and talk to him again later. And as expected, there was the ExtremeAwkwardness afterwards, that happens whenever a topic that upsets him or threatens him comes up--followed by the MoodyMoroseSilence. It faded by the time we got to Charlie's (his supervisor), but still. *shrugs, sighs*

Then, coincidentally, at Don's DnD game Sunday Pat asked if we were going to be there for Thanksgiving. (Since '92, we've been going to Pat and Greg's for Thanksgiving--she's a friend who also likes to act as surrogate mother, and Greg and James go way, way back. So it's understandable that James still wants to be with them that day. There's this implicit open invitation, and it's just kind of assumed we'll go each year.). All I could say was "Weeeeeeell, thus *far* we will be." Eh. >_<; It's so frustrating sometimes--I feel like in so many places in my life that tradition turns into obligation. And I won't rant on it, because I do far too much of that already, but I'd like to be able to go somewhere else when I'm invited without James acting like it's a huge rejection--I'd like to feel that I can still *choose* where I want to go and do without being expected, and without being guilt-tripped. Because yes, I'm married to him, and I care for Pat and Greg--but I also care very much for Nix, Kea, and Jenn. I want to see them very, very much--and I want to actually see and be around Nix so badly I can feel it like this solid ache in my midsection sometimes. (Yeah, I know, I'm being melodramatic again. >_< )

So, eh. There's how that is. I am still waiting for James to figure out if he'll be okay with me going or not. We'll see. As far as Pat goes--well, I can just explain it to her if I don't end up going after all. I hope she'll understand, but she may react like James has been. *wince* At the least, with her I can get a little trinket as a sort of apology, though really I don't need to be saying 'sorry' for anything--just as a pick-me-up if she needs, and to prove to her I'm not saying I don't like her (you gotta understand, I love hanging out with Greg--he's your typical guy, and he just takes life as it comes. No mind games, no strings, no weird stuff like this. >_<;; I actually am more friends with him than with Pat--she just is older and more traditional in her attitudes that the 'guys are friends and the girls are friends' sort of things. It's hard to explain.) Anyhoo, off that. I'm just being patient and 'waiting and seeing'.

Other than that, Sunday was DnD followed by bad movie night at the other Don's place. Got to watch Q:The Winged Serpent (wretched) and Rodan (put me to sleep). ^^ It was an okay evening, actually. And Monday--we we know how that was. *wince* But I did get to talk to Nix, and watched some of a cartoon that Don taped for me. He's got a satellite dish with a Canadian subscription package, so it's off their version of Cartoon Network--Teletoons, I believe. But the cartoon was called "The Undergrads", and it's amusing me greatly. ^^ I think the character Gimpy is my favorite. Heh.

Eh. My supervisor's back from her workshop. Guess I'd better go be productive again.

But first, two t-shirt sayings I heard recited on a radio program:

"What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull." and
"What would Jesus do...for a Klondike bar?"

XD Yeah.