Like a stone...
Feb. 6th, 2003 09:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
whitereflectionKelly here last year took in a stray cat, a cute young all-black guy she called Kuroneko. She found out that he was feline leukemia positive--but he really seemed to bounce back from being a stray so long, and he seemed very strong. He kinda looked like a mini-panther, and was energetic and friendly. Recently, though, he got a respiratory infection, and while he did recover from that, it seemed to give the feline leuk a major foot in the door--the virus went mega-active, and now Kelly's cat is extremely, extremely sick. I found out when I came in this morning that Kel's leaving early to take Kuro to the vet, to have him put to sleep. He just has been overwhelmed by it despite treatments by the vet, and has weakened to where he just can't go on anymore--we all knew it would happen eventualy, but none of us expected this soon.
Kelly's a wreck, though, and I remember I was just the same way some years ago when our cat Felix got a throat tumor and died. I'd never really lost a pet before--Crystal and Felix were the first pets I could remember, since I was under three when Mom and Dad gave away our cats and dog after Dad's severe allergies were discovered. So having to let Felix go was so hard--even though I know Kel lost pets before, it's still just that difficult. I can't help hurting for her--because she's my friend, because I liked her cat a lot. And seeing someone cry, especially a friend, will make me break down, too. Just giving a hug seems like too little to do, especially when you can feel someone shaking, crying.
***
Today's the day Anj's dad has that surgery. I really hope it goes ok--but even if it does, I know he's going to have a longer recovery, what with his poor health and all. I just worry about Anj, as this is a lot of stress on her, and she's having to be so strong for him. I really want that to go ok...I mean, I know he's really only got a couple years left, but I just don't want it to be now. And thinking about this really makes me worry about Nix's dad and her grandmother, and Kea's dad... Again, there's still the feeling of "I'm not ready" for myself, for any of my friends to have such things to worry about. I really don't want to see those I love scared, worrying, or facing loss and grief. I wish I had the power to make things better somehow.
***
Work's been extremely busy, which is decent. I prefer having lots of activity. Got the juvenile subject headings project and the locate journals-print holdings projects done, and now am finally able to address the major government map backlog. No catalog records were appearing for the forest service maps since October, and just as I suspected, the GPO unloaded nearly all of them into OCLC within the past two weeks. I knew they'd all hit at once. Last year, 10-15 maps in a month was normal, 20-30 was high. In the past week I've already done 75, and looks like about another 35 today. There's about 30 more that still haven't been given catalog records yet by GPO--hopefully they'll come through soon so I can get us fully caught up again. I hate having stuff sit and build up.
***
Based on the song "Cochise the Avenger", I was fully prepared to hate the band Audioslave. I detested that song, thought it a weak Led Zepplin-sounding thing (and I'm not hugely fond of Zepplin). But "Like a Stone" has at least partially saved the band, in my view--I love that song as much as I hated the other. I can't help trying to sing along with it (is even mostly within my vocal range). Need to get a copy for my iPod. I also need to find an mp3 (*flips off the recording industry and the government*) of Transplant's "Diamonds and Guns", and whatever that new Sheryl Crow song is (the duet one). I'm kinda amazed--I wouldn't have guessed from her previous music what a rich, haunting voice she could have. I actually thought it was Sarah MacLaughlan.
***
Spent all last evening noting information about my cels onto my gallery. Still haven't had time to scan the sketches or new cels. I have to admit, I can tell the numbers and if it's an end cel ok, but I have no idea how to tell if they're a key cel or stuff like that. And I've heard the terms douga, genga, etc., but I have no clue what those mean--guess I need to do some research to find out. I should quit being the 'clueless collector' (you wouldn't believe how many of my cels I can't remember specifically who I got them from, or how much I paid--and for the most part I can't remember specific dates of purchase. Was having to guess a lot. If I would have just noted it all down as I bought stuff, like James and others recommended. Meh.).
***
Hopefully on track to do an OSX upgrade this weekend--will have to then rebuild my computer with X-compatible software. At least it looks like there's not much I'll have to search for--it's mostly stuff on the install discs. Just a few things I'll have to raid MacAddict discs and the web for. My new RAM (a 512meg stick) comes in Monday--will switch for one of my 128s, end up with 640. That is RAM happiness.
***
Not much else at the moment. Trying not to think about Valentine's Day next week (just have been blah and tense about it last year and this). Guess I should tackle that work, as the maps await.
Kelly's a wreck, though, and I remember I was just the same way some years ago when our cat Felix got a throat tumor and died. I'd never really lost a pet before--Crystal and Felix were the first pets I could remember, since I was under three when Mom and Dad gave away our cats and dog after Dad's severe allergies were discovered. So having to let Felix go was so hard--even though I know Kel lost pets before, it's still just that difficult. I can't help hurting for her--because she's my friend, because I liked her cat a lot. And seeing someone cry, especially a friend, will make me break down, too. Just giving a hug seems like too little to do, especially when you can feel someone shaking, crying.
***
Today's the day Anj's dad has that surgery. I really hope it goes ok--but even if it does, I know he's going to have a longer recovery, what with his poor health and all. I just worry about Anj, as this is a lot of stress on her, and she's having to be so strong for him. I really want that to go ok...I mean, I know he's really only got a couple years left, but I just don't want it to be now. And thinking about this really makes me worry about Nix's dad and her grandmother, and Kea's dad... Again, there's still the feeling of "I'm not ready" for myself, for any of my friends to have such things to worry about. I really don't want to see those I love scared, worrying, or facing loss and grief. I wish I had the power to make things better somehow.
***
Work's been extremely busy, which is decent. I prefer having lots of activity. Got the juvenile subject headings project and the locate journals-print holdings projects done, and now am finally able to address the major government map backlog. No catalog records were appearing for the forest service maps since October, and just as I suspected, the GPO unloaded nearly all of them into OCLC within the past two weeks. I knew they'd all hit at once. Last year, 10-15 maps in a month was normal, 20-30 was high. In the past week I've already done 75, and looks like about another 35 today. There's about 30 more that still haven't been given catalog records yet by GPO--hopefully they'll come through soon so I can get us fully caught up again. I hate having stuff sit and build up.
***
Based on the song "Cochise the Avenger", I was fully prepared to hate the band Audioslave. I detested that song, thought it a weak Led Zepplin-sounding thing (and I'm not hugely fond of Zepplin). But "Like a Stone" has at least partially saved the band, in my view--I love that song as much as I hated the other. I can't help trying to sing along with it (is even mostly within my vocal range). Need to get a copy for my iPod. I also need to find an mp3 (*flips off the recording industry and the government*) of Transplant's "Diamonds and Guns", and whatever that new Sheryl Crow song is (the duet one). I'm kinda amazed--I wouldn't have guessed from her previous music what a rich, haunting voice she could have. I actually thought it was Sarah MacLaughlan.
***
Spent all last evening noting information about my cels onto my gallery. Still haven't had time to scan the sketches or new cels. I have to admit, I can tell the numbers and if it's an end cel ok, but I have no idea how to tell if they're a key cel or stuff like that. And I've heard the terms douga, genga, etc., but I have no clue what those mean--guess I need to do some research to find out. I should quit being the 'clueless collector' (you wouldn't believe how many of my cels I can't remember specifically who I got them from, or how much I paid--and for the most part I can't remember specific dates of purchase. Was having to guess a lot. If I would have just noted it all down as I bought stuff, like James and others recommended. Meh.).
***
Hopefully on track to do an OSX upgrade this weekend--will have to then rebuild my computer with X-compatible software. At least it looks like there's not much I'll have to search for--it's mostly stuff on the install discs. Just a few things I'll have to raid MacAddict discs and the web for. My new RAM (a 512meg stick) comes in Monday--will switch for one of my 128s, end up with 640. That is RAM happiness.
***
Not much else at the moment. Trying not to think about Valentine's Day next week (just have been blah and tense about it last year and this). Guess I should tackle that work, as the maps await.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-06 09:23 am (UTC)I know just how you feel. I was completely devastated when my first dog died. Heather was my girl, picked by me from the crowd at the pound, and was my constant companion for eleven years. She slept in my bed, licked the tears from my face, and never questioned or judged. She came down with glaucoma that last year, lost her sight completely, and one day we found her in the backyard, stretched out on her side.
It took me years to be able to think about her without immediately breaking down into tears, and even now I'm sitting here with a sad smile and prick of tears in my eyes. It's hard to believe she's been gone for almost eight years. Stuns me a little.
It's never easy, and I'm not quite sure how I'll cope with losing one of my current little trio. Thankfully they're all young and healthy. Just have to keep them that way. ^_^
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-06 05:55 pm (UTC)I dun wanna even think about what I'll be like when me beloved Bob passes on... He's 7 years old... And he's also like a mini-panther... 16 pounds of pure muscle...
But he's getting on in the years, his whiskers are starting to turn white, and his black fur is starting to have some white showing...
*sighs* What am I talking about! It's Bob! He'll live forever... Right? ;-;
*huggles again* Hope ya get that upgrade, with Much RAM-alama-ding dong happiness. Or something. ^^
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-06 11:16 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-02-07 06:38 am (UTC)Ah well, I will like the one song, ignore the band (is what I do for Jewel--I only like Foolish Games--and Alanis Morissette--I only like Uninvited). ^^
--Di
Re:
Date: 2003-02-07 06:43 am (UTC)But Bob reminds me of Anj's cat, Luna--*massive* sleek black cat, about 16 pounds as well, and you can see the muscles ripple when he walks. And with this ...tiny pathetic meow. ^^;;; And he's below the pecking order to Anj' other cat, Murphy, a tiny scruffy blackish cat, who just happens to be a couple years older. Weirdness. Heh.
*nods* Software upgrade this weekend, RAM upgrage Monday. :D Will have OSX.2 (aka 'Jaguar') and the browser Safari. It will be jungly! ^^
--Di
Re:
Date: 2003-02-07 06:50 am (UTC)But it's so true, that all that feeling and emotion stays with us about the pets we love, and our memories of them stay so strong. Just this past Christmas James' mother sent us some pictures of Felix and his sister cat Abby from when they were a few years old (James would have been in high school then), and I got kinda choked up seeing images of him. Even with our four now, even despite the fact that it's been five years since he's been gone, I still miss him.
And knowing that Crystal is 14, I worry how it will be in a few years--because unlike Felix, unlike the other three now, Crystal started out as *MY* cat. She's the most reflective of me, so clever and more like a friend than a pet. If I were practicing some new age (or conversely old age) religion, she'd be my familiar. But she's doing really well, the other three are young and ok--though naturally one got a really bad series of hairballs, so I'm fretting to make sure it's not some worse illness. *sigh* Great timing on their part. -_-
But hi, by the way. :) *extrahugs* Hope everything's dandy, eh?
--Di