whitereflection | (no subject)

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Just random bits of thoughts:

*I dunno, seeing Dean gone domestic just...he looked so much older to me. Not sure if it was because the 'daily life' things just made me think of my Dad or what, but, man, he just...*felt* older. Was amused that not only were there protections on the house, but that he still keeps a gun on hand. :p

*Criminy, I was about going nucking futz by ten minutes after with 'Where's Sam?' spazzing. God, I was going seriously nuts. SO HAPPY when he finally showed up again.

*Lotta stuff tore me up this ep--that hug, fuck yeah, Dean saying "This is heaven?" when waking up to see Sam, god, so many of Dean's expressions throughout the ep when he realized that he hadn't known that Sam was alive and that even Bobby hadn't told him. And the ending just made me ache. Not in tears, not hurting like certain of last season's eps left me, but still, really aching.

*Mostly meh on the new hunters, sort of "Um wat" about the Samuel resurrection, though I am intrigued as to why, as well as definitely wanting more info as to what got Sam out. But I like Gwen, heh. For some reason she faintly reminds me of a young Sigourney Weaver.

*Poor Bobby. That "If you're here, something's wrong" sort of sums up a lot of his relationship with the boys. Though of course there was the obvious meaning of knowing Dean had been pulled from normal life, and with them all keeping him in the dark, of course that'd mean something bad. But it really has additional layers for how they can always turn to him for help, but also, sometimes, that's the only contact he has with them, is that they come to him for help. Though the reverse is true, as well, yeah. Anyway, just sort of pondering on that.

*I have to admit, while them keeping him in the dark about Sam was not the right thing to do, it was also definitely the right thing to do. His first reaction was to do exactly what they'd thought he'd do. Though obviously he changed his mind on that by the end.

*The thing that gets me with Dean's relationship with Lisa and Ben though, is I think he really does care about them, but it just feels...eh, this is me just talking out of my ass... It's just...it's sort of off. It's more like...he and Lisa obviously care about each other, but it doesn't feel like love, to me. It feels like...just well, like in talking about what was the best year of her life, the thing Lisa highlighted was how Dean was such a good father figure for Ben, the sort she'd hoped for. And of course we know why Dean was there, but why he goes back? Protecting them, knowing he's made them vulnerable. I'm curious where they'll go with this all. But I just...to me I see contrasts in this to Sam and Jess. Not going to say Dean and Lisa might not love each other, but to me, it just feels more like they were together because they fit each others' needs. Anyway, again, just pondering. P.S. Just adding that I actually like Lisa more than I expected I would at this point--she's smart, as I expected she'd be. P.P.S. Resurrected!Ellen/Lisa, I'm just sayin. :p Or Lisa/Gwen, hmm maybe.

*Anyway. Badass fighting Sam? Loved it. :)

*The Campbells kidnapping the one djinn? Ok, what. Why that's not suspicious at all. Especially doing it without either Dean or Sam knowing. I definitely don't trust them now.

*Sam at the end...the bit of "wouldn't even think to try". Criminy. That...says so damned much about how much Sam has changed. I also found this bit interesting, because I think this is key to Sam wanting to be with Dean again, after purposefully staying away for that whole year. I think he realizes first of all, that the way Dean is, the running in because he cares, that Dean's needing protecting, or at least someone to have his back. That even in normal life, Dean's going to be like this and eventually it's going to get him hurt or killed--especially with the weird changes in monsters. But also, I think maybe Sam realizes that something's missing in himself now, that caring, that trying to help others, and that he needs Dean as a partner to bring that to the hunt. A balance each other/complete each other/yin-yang/partners sort of thing, maybe. Again, speaking out of my ass, but I just could see this another reason after so long of now wanting Dean back. Because yeah, they need hunters because of the weird shit, but they needed hunters that whole time and he and Bobby kept Dean out of it because they...well I guess I see it as giving him the gift of normal, hunt-free life with spouse and family. Just now, I think Sam realizes he *needs* Dean, for a lot of reasons.

*Him offering Sam the keys to the Impala? God, okay, that did make me hurt. Damn. Gives me flashbacks to last season. And just like then, that's just probably the most Dean way of saying he loves someone there is.

Anyway. I kept thinking while watching that I am SO fucking glad show's back. Probably won't be everyone's cup of tea, but I liked it, and I'm just fucking *wanting* more so damned badly. I want next Friday like freaking now. I know they're just laying the groundwork, but still. Where they left off, just ugh, has me impatient for the to get the 'start the season storyarc' stuff done already. Get them together and on the road, ffs.

I need a new title card icon.

...but seriously, I *really* want to know what the hell is up with Sam. I want details DX How, what's he remember, is he going to remain sort of...distant, or will he sort of find his way back to himself? I mean, Dean did. Eh, anyway. (:x Um. I kind of want to see it when Sam finally cracks and the emotions hit again. I can't help but think it's not that he can't feel or has gone cold, but...I think it's got to be a he's keeping himself very controlled thing. Just imo.)

...ETA. Man, I'm going to stop reading others' reactions. I expected to see a lot of things, and some of it's helping me to see past my just-excited-show's-back to see that yeah, there's definitely some bits I was dissatisfied with. But wow. The Sam hate...I just. Man, that makes me sad to see. :/ Seriously sad. Honestly, I thought people left that behind in s4. (And no, not on my flist, just was out wandering through various places, and happened upon something.) I mean, jeez. He and Bobby not telling Dean in a way was a--was an attempt at a gift of sorts. Like I said, wasn't the right thing to do, yet was the right thing as well. Sam and even Bobby were trying to give Dean something he's never, ever, EVER had his entire life. And with a character like that who so often puts others before himself, has done so since he was you know, 4...I can see why they chose to do what they did. Because again, if he'd been told, he'd do exactly what he did do at first--leave, even if it was leaving something he very much wanted. But yeah, a damned if Sam did, damned if Sam didn't situation. But fuck, to hate him for it. That's just...a bit much. I really hope this doesn't mean fandom's heading for more s4 atmosphere--I really liked that s5 felt fairly free of that sort of thing.

Though it reminds me of something

kros_21 and I were discussing recently--that when people don't like something that happens in a show, they hate the character...not once saying instead "I hate the writers for making that character do that". Just once I'd like to see that be someone's first reaction. Since, you know, what characters do, for better or worse, is because of a writer or group of writers. They don't do this themselves, because yeah, they're not real. No free will there.

Anyway. Enough thinking about it. Letting it go, just gonna look forward to next week.

Btw, dear show, goddamnit, it so feels like it's Thursday and tomorrow's Friday. This feels weird. Argh. \o/

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I stopped following the

ontd_spnparty post because of all the hate. It's annoying!

I will say that it didn't feel like my old SPN - and I'm not sure how to feel about that just yet. I need to 1)rewatch because I missed like 5 minutes and it threw me off and 2) suspend judgment until at least a few episodes in.

I definitely agree with you that it didn't feel like our old show, and on suspending judgement still. I still can't help but be in love with the boys and the show, so I'm still hoping for the best.

There's times I think about leaving the spnparty comm. ^^; But I am sort of a nut for spoilers. I've just had to make myself read the basic posts and not glance down at the comments at all--too often they make me all grrrr. Peoples' reactions just frustrate me though. It's like they're just waiting to pounce on the chance to hate certain characters, and all but deify others, and don't make any effort to think about character motivations. As well as never blaming the writers. :p

I absolutely loved this episode! ♥

The Campbells are weeeeeeeeird and there's something up with them. D: D:

Man that part where he offered the keys ;___; It was so sad.

when we talked about that hun I immediately thought that they would prove us right after the season premiere and ta-da!!!!! there they go.
I'm gonna write more about this in my review but all the Sam hate makes me sad too. And I can respect all the opinions really, but the blind bashing? no and if I see something like that on my flist I'm gonna have to make some drastic decisions because I have been enduring that for five seasons now... :/

I really enjoyed the episode, but I've never been very critical of the show. Or any show. I live to be entertained, without having to think too hard about it. I make no apologies for that. :-)

I'm totally with you on Lisa. I actually feel sorry for her. Dean's going through the motions. I suspect now that he knows Sam is back, he's going to feel like being with her less, and staying only to protect her and Ben. I don't have a strong attachment to her, but I feel like she deserves better. It's a little hard for me to believe that a woman who looks like her doesn't have guys lining up to take Dean's place.

I have lots of questions for the show, but I'm willing to give things time to play out. Most specifically, I want to know if there's a reason Sam dodged Dean's question about what Hell was like.

*is currently free of spoilers for future episodes*

I live to be entertained, without having to think too hard about it. I make no apologies for that. :-)

Haha, yes! I so can relate to this. :D Definitely the way I prefer to be as well. I have to admit, I'm sort of surprised at times of how critical and demanding this show's audience can be--though it's really my first non-anime fandom so maybe that's related, I don't know. ^^;

It's a little hard for me to believe that a woman who looks like her doesn't have guys lining up to take Dean's place.

Yeah, no kidding! And I agree, she really does deserve better--and to have someone for *herself* as well, not just who's a good father to her boy. Though I kind of am developing some personal theories about her motivations, and in addition to her feeling Dean's a good person and a good father figure, I can't help but feel that she's trying to help/protect/take care of him, in a way. Knowing what a difficult life he leads, and this horrible thing he's been through, this loss he was grieving--that as just a normal human, not a hunter, this was something she could do, and something she could do to help someone who'd helped her and Ben. Even just something done on a subconscious level. But just pondering, heh.

And no worries ^^ I snoop at spoilers a little bit, but don't talk about 'em.

WHAT SAM HATE? THERE'S SAM HATE? I hate people who hate on my boy :(

Poor Bobby. That "If you're here, something's wrong" sort of sums up a lot of his relationship with the boys.
True :( It's sad that they only go to him when the need help.

I'm kind of glad that while it was obvious that Dean cares about Lisa and Ben, he wasn't really happy either. I would have hated it if they'd tried to portray Lisa as the love of Dean's life...

I hate people who hate on my boy :(

I know, right! And there's so much negativity about him out there right now. : / The one that just made me D: D: D: was something I saw commented on a flister's entry, and I just...just had to stop snooping around. I really just felt bad when I saw how vehement it was.

But something I was discussing with another person on my flist, is just how...really unfair the negativity is, anyway. Because she was drawing parallels to things from the pilot, and how it was now very much the reverse, with instead of Sam wanting his normal/safe life, now it's Dean. And my thought on it was how early on in SPN, often fandom has considered Sam bad/selfish for not going back on the road with Dean at first, for 'abandoning' Dean. Yet now, Sam's seen as bad for asking Dean to leave his normal/safe life.

It's like...it's okay for Dean to do, but not Sam. And I love Dean, I do. But the difference in fan reaction gets me. And she pointed out how it was the same with the seals, back when Dean wasn't disliked for breaking the first seal, but wow, Sam was for breaking the last. But this bit recently really goes get me, because it is definitely Sam being pilot!Dean and he's disliked/hated for what people thought was perfectly okay for pilot!Dean to ask of Sam back then. And where's people feeling like Dean's abandoning Sam for not going on the hunt with him?

It's just very weird. I'm really glad that those on my flist that are very Dean favoring aren't anti-Sam. I know there are characters I'm not always fond of, but I try to think of my flist that likes those characters or considers them favorites, and don't say all sorts of really bad things about them. It just seems better to focus on the things I do like--Sam, SamnDean, SamnDeanTheImpala etc etc. XD;

Aaand sorry for the babble. ^^;

That's true. A lot of people cut Dean way more slack, at least that's my impression. It sucks, because both boys screwed up plenty of times but they both always have good intentions, yet there's always so much Sam hate. IDGI.

And yes, I'm super glad that my flist isn't like that. I don't get why people can't just love both of them, why there always has to be this fight about who is better etc. I'm a Sam girl, but I love Dean and I can't imagine watching the show and hating on either of them because they're a team and love each other :)

I'm a Sam girl, but I love Dean and I can't imagine watching the show and hating on either of them because they're a team and love each other :)

Ohmygosh, *exactly*! This reminds me of an icon that someone on my flist has, that says "You know who's a Sam!girl? Dean! You know who's a Dean!girl? Sam!" or something like that. That's probably the thing people need to remember most, is that as much as we have a favorite, that favorite *really really really* loves their brother (whether you're a shipper or no), and to ignore that aspect of your favorite character is to not understand them at all!

And it's like some act like if you have a favorite, you've got no room left to like the other brother o_O And honestly, as much as I joke that my third favorite character is the Impala, after Sam and then Dean, but honestly, she's probably my fourth favorite--because my third favorite character is the whole Sam'N'Dean relationship. ♥ Fans just can't ignore that that is and always has been a vital aspect of the show, and can't be dismissed.

Reading some people reactions to this episode is really bringing me down. So reading yours was a freshing cup of tea :)

It's no secret that I'm a Dean!girl but all the Sam hate is really making me DDD: I don't understand it!

I loved reading your thoughts on Dean and Lisa, and Sam at the end. I think you're right on track. Well, I think everything you wrote is right on track. The episode may not have been the best eva but it did get me interested in what happens next. It did exactly what a premiere was supposed to do :)

that's just probably the most Dean way of saying he loves someone there is
Word. Impala keys=keys to Dean's heart. Which makes seeing her under a tarp downright poetic. (And how many fics did THAT Kripke, boys and girls?)

Poor Sam strikes me as a guy following the Winchester tradition of barely keeping his shit together by shutting down his emotions and throwing himself into the hunt. Just add whiskey!

It's a season opener that asks questions rather than answering them, which isn't very satisfying. But. It's got a beat, I can dance to it.

Poor Sam strikes me as a guy following the Winchester tradition of barely keeping his shit together by shutting down his emotions and throwing himself into the hunt. Just add whiskey!

Good gravy, yes. I don't know if it's nature or nuture, or both, but wow, they are just so similar in this way. That's one thing the writers have done really well for the characters of the Winchesters is a detail like this.

But. It's got a beat, I can dance to it.

*hee* Yeah, me too! *dances with you*

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