a moment of.

[whitereflection]

I don't know if I can watch anymore.

Yeah, I probably will. But I feel like right now, I just can't take it anymore. That last scene...just I think broke me. Fucking nose-running crying, and just remembering that...thunk sound, I feel sick.

Fucking show. Thanks for showing there's really no hope. Thanks for breaking Dean and Sam down even more. Is there anything even left? They might as well show them just saying yes, get fucking on with it and quit drawing it out. Obvious that's where they're leading them anyway. There's no hope for anything else. And obviously Dean's got nothing left in him to fight with. Castiel knows true bitterness against a father and...and I can't see Sam being able to cling to the hope he's trying to drum up for long, not with Dean the way he is. Not after that last scene, which basically said everything that's happened in their lives has been too much, nothing can be fixed, nothing can be apologized for, there's too much hurt and yeah, there's no hope. So much for fixing things, bringing them back together. Feels too much like puzzle pieces that are to fucked up and damaged to be able to click back together again ever.

And you know, Dark Side of the Moon is one of my goddamn favorite songs, since I was in high school. And now when I hear it I'm gonna be reminded of this. Fucking hell, I can't stop crying.

Jesus. That last scene.

Comments

[mysticwaters.livejournal.com]

This entire ep from beginning to end had me in tears. I usually like to come online afterward and squee and discuss the show, but my heart really isn't in it tonight. Show stomped all over it and now I just....ache. </3

[cacklesthewitch.livejournal.com]

Wow.

I'm still in shock mode myself but, yeah, it pretty much seems like they're going the vessel route... at least for Dean:'(

[coyotesuspect.livejournal.com]

It's always darkest before the dawn, bb. The boys will pull through, and they'll save the day. But they'll do it without God on their side. And isn't that ultimately a more affirming story?

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

Same. I even had my usual notes, and I just ditched it. Just hurts too much.

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

I just have been really counting on them to show that of ANYONE to have free will, and to say fuck you to those trying to force them into molds, it would be Sam and Dean. I wanted it to be *both* of them that always said no. Now I feel like it's probably going to be neither of them, which sort of emphasizes that it's useless to fight destiny, that there really is no free will or whatever. Ugh.

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I suppose. I guess that's the last little bit of hope I have left about this story arc, though it's tenuous. I think maybe I'd feel more like you're saying if it hadn't been for the end scene. That bit did bad things to me. >_< Just so much don't want either of them saying yes, and it just seems so much like at least one if not both will. Argh, I dunno.

Seriously. That last scene. At least they didn't slow-mo him dropping the amulet into the trash can or I'd probably go hide in bed for the rest of the season or something.

[cacklesthewitch.livejournal.com]

I know, of anyone, I want Dean to tell them where to stick it & the boys to stay united. It's depressing:(

But I have a feeling Sam with hold out (of course, I'm fairly spoiler-free, so I might just be being naive...)

[breathe-me27.livejournal.com]

The last scene BROKE me, it really did. *weeps*

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

Fairly spoiler free also, but augh, I guess it's just made me so pessimistic is why I was/am feeling so gloom and doom about them both doing so. But if it were just one, I get this bad feeling it would be Sam actually, because it seems like the way they're writing him is that no matter what he does, it's the wrong thing, the wrong decision or choice, even if for good reasons. So it just makes me think they'd continue with that somehow. I keep hoping they surprise me, but dang, after tonight... Ugh, I'm so mopey, sorry. ^^;

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

Oh god, we are so together in that. I was wobbly during the commercial break after the garden scene--but if it had ended there, I would have shaken it off. That end scene though...that's just stuck in my gut and I swear I'm not going to shake the feeling of it for days. That just seriously hurt too much.

[brianshanelvr.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I can do it anymore either...

[cacklesthewitch.livejournal.com]

Don't be sorry! This ep was cruel and unusual punishment for a fangirl. I'm feeling the hurt as well:(

[dahliablue.livejournal.com]

God, this ep broke my heart.

[invaderwitch.livejournal.com]

*pets* :(

[akintay.livejournal.com]

The episode was heartbreaking. But I still believe that there is hope for the boys and the world and that things will get better - whether it happens this season or next, but it will.

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm still feeling it today. T__T So very ouch.

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

I'll try to hope like you are ♥ Just wishing it would be this season ^^; That ep really just hurt and it would be so hard to wait until s6 for things to finally feel better.

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

Eps like that really make me wish I had fellow fans to watch with, just to have group hugs after. ^^;

[ditta-spn.livejournal.com]

I know, right?!! I couldn't stop crying since the first scene!! Little Sam and Dean... *snif*

[whitereflection.livejournal.com]

That first scene really packed a punch. It was so gorgeous and achy and bittersweet. I really did like the whole episode--just except that last scene gutting me. ^^; Oh, show.